› The Gloves are Off › Daily Funnies › Parent Job Description
- This topic has 8 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated January 29, 2009 at 6:10 am by .
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- January 26, 2009 at 4:52 pm #269949fosterfamily5
parent
job descriptionposition :
mom, mommy, mama, ma
dad, daddy, dada, pa, popjob description :long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 ho ur shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multip le homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.possibility for advancement & promotion :
none.
your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass youprevious experience :none required unfortunately..
on-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.wages and compensation :
get this! you pay them!
offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.benefits :
while no health or dental insurance, no p ension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.** and a footnote ? ***
there is no retirement — ever!!!
if you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!grandparents get to start over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- January 26, 2009 at 4:57 pm #412547Niddi
whew, what a job, the pay stinks, but the benefits sure are worth it.
- January 26, 2009 at 5:29 pm #412555tsgalSo cute, but very true. I couldn’t imagine life being any other way now that I have this position……….lol
- January 26, 2009 at 5:33 pm #412556suey
I agree with Tonia….Real cute!
- January 26, 2009 at 9:06 pm #412585Ms Gee
Wow, what a job. The best in the world. Thanks.
- January 27, 2009 at 8:46 am #412634TarrienI’ll have to think about this job before asking for an application…
- January 27, 2009 at 11:16 am #412655gidget
You never get to retire??? oh no!!!!
- January 27, 2009 at 9:45 pm #412710faxonfive
Wow….I wouldnt change a thing…they are blessings~~
- January 28, 2009 at 1:47 am #412737FruGalI loved the job of raising my three children. But now that they are all grown up I do wish they would let me suffer from “empty nest syndrome”! 😉
- January 29, 2009 at 6:10 am #412980mbabb29340
@tsgal 104134 wrote:
So cute, but very true. I couldn’t imagine life being any other way now that I have this position……….lol
I agree!!! There’s no other job I’d rather have!~ Misty
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