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  1. #1
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    Default Problems Shopping as a family


    Does anyone have problems shopping as a family? My husband knows
    that I am trying to save some money. I have explained it to him a
    number of times. He knows I am trying to put money back into our
    savings account. But he isn't cooperating. Last night we went to
    the store to get the necessities...laundry detergent, bread, eggs,
    butter (I also found that 2 1/2 dz eggs is cheaper than 1 1/2 dz by
    50 cents at walmart). I am thinking no more than $50. That is
    pretty good considering how much of the stuff we were going to buy.
    OH NO. He ended up writing a $113 check. Most of that was from
    sodas. Lots of sodas. UGH. How frustrating.

    I told him numerous times that we didn't need it and we really
    couldn't afford it at the moment...he still went ahead and bought
    them. HELLO!!! Geez, now I feel like a nagging wife. I don't want
    to be that but he refuses to listen about this. He knows the
    struggle we have been in. He said that he would be the first to say
    I needed to find a job if we needed more money. The only place that
    I can think of to work at is at Hardee's or Arby's if they are open
    24 hours. Then I can work part time from 8 pm to midnight. That

    way, I can still be home with the kids during the day and get to bed
    at my normal time. First I have to find out if they are before I
    even consider the possibility of working there.

    Thanks for letting me vent my frustrations.

    Kelly

  2. #2
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    RE: Budget101.com : Problems Shopping as a family


    Don't take him shopping and use a list.
    Go shopping when he isn't around <grin>

  3. #3
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    Re: Problems Shopping as a family


    I can totally feel your pain! My husband is a PAIN in the rear to
    take shopping. It's not so much that he's trying his hardest to go
    outside of our budget. It's just that he's less likely to tell the
    kids no, or to want to splurg on that one item (which turns into
    20). Our grocery bills easily double when I take him with me.

    So, I just never take him with me. I do the grocery shopping at
    night when he's home and can watch the kids. No kids, no husband- I
    get what I want, and what we need, and it's a lot cheaper.

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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: Problems Shopping as a family




    On Aug 1, 2006, at 12:00 PM, Heather wrote:


    My husband is a PAIN in the rear to

    take shopping.
    OMG, My husband would NEVER go shopping with me! I do it all. He stops on his way home from work for the few things that he wants (milk, chips, pizzas, etc), and that hurts our budget, but I cannot imagine taking him along! Good luck to all of you that deal with that. I guess just be glad that he wants to participate!

    Deb

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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: Problems Shopping as a family


    My husband will actually go to the grocery store sometimes with the list and he
    can actually stick to it.
    Sometimes, it bugs me though, because he will bypass something that we really
    could use (say TP 75% off or something) because I did not put it on the list I
    gave him. He also goes EXACTLY by the list. For instance, if you put Heinz
    ketchup on the list and the store only has Hunts, he will skip getting ketchup
    all together. Some things I really do prefer one brand over the other, and
    other things, it is not terribly important. Experience has taught me which
    size/brand/etc. is the best buy, works the best in our home, etc.

    At least he goes and is willing to help.

    Usually, it is just me and the baby going along getting the groceries.

    Herlean

    Heather <gilly_bean_baby@yahoo.com> wrote:
    I can totally feel your pain! My husband is a PAIN in the rear to
    take shopping. <LG Excess Post Removed by moderators, causing delay in message
    reaching the list>

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    Re: Budget101.com : Problems Shopping as a family


    Can you grocery shop w/ out him? Or let him go w/ out you and dig his own
    hole. It is not going to be easier on you w/ you going to work. Can you mk
    up tea, koolaid etc before you go shopping?

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    Re: Budget101.com : Problems Shopping as a family


    I solved this problem really quickly and really easy..........I shop alone now! Everyone will eat only what I buy. I ask everyone for 1 or 2 things they REALLY want from the store, and then usually I get it. Or, if money is really tight, we write the wants down and throw them in a cup or something and I will pick 1 or 2 things. Whenever my husband goes shopping alone, the budget is gone! He won't shop from the list. He comes home with 2 gallons of ice cream, that of COURSE were on sale, and cakes, and all kinds of junk.

    Angela

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    Re: Budget101.com : Problems Shopping as a family


    My hubby is usually pretty good at shopping.. Since wal-mart will match
    prices from other stores for the most part.. I usually shop once I get
    off work..

    I usually go through the weekley ads I get in the paper and mail and
    shop from them... Not to mention I coupon everything I can.. Most of
    the cashiers at work know when I haven't been shopping in a while..

    Since I don't always work.. I base everything on my hubby's paycheck..
    and let me say this after almost 13 years in the military he doesn't
    make all that much..

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    Re: Budget101.com : Problems Shopping as a family


    I know exactly where you are coming from. Will your husband drink the generic
    sodas? You can usually find them on sale and if they are not under a $1.00 you
    can go to the dollar store and pick some up.
    I had to make juice, tea, lemon-aid and keep water all in stock, that way my
    husband stopped asking for sodas when he wanted something sweet. I have it down
    to a minimum now, but yes I still have to buy them once in awhile, but he knows
    now that it has to be $1.00 and under or we are going to fight. Too
    funny...fighting over soda LOL! I do understand your frustration though, I'm
    still trying to get my husband to help out with the savings instead of always
    thinking what he WANTS to buy!
    That's why I keep reading the posts everyday, it helps me to stay on track and
    remember that it can be done!

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    I am so glad to find out it's not just my family with this problem. I
    don't take them with me any more because we end up with so much more
    than we needed. My husbend is the same way, except he doesn't buy the
    sodas in bulk at wal-mart, he buys 20oz., one at a time, at the gas
    station, all day long. He expects me to only spend a certain amount a
    week on groceries but he spends twice that on cigs., sodas, and fast
    food for lunches. Did I mention we are a family of five. He averages
    $15-$20 a day, just for him. But to feed three kids and myself three
    meals a day, snacks and then him at dinner time, he expects that to
    cost less than $60, and he is a steak and potatoes kind of man. We go
    round and round about this. I buy food and sodas and a carton of
    cigs. for him to take for work, I even recycle milk jugs to make him
    tea and freeze water in but he always forgets to take all but the
    cigs. He also says I need to get a job, but if he would stick to my
    budget we would actually have extra left over each payday.

    In the same boat, Rebecca

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    RE: Budget101.com : Re: Problems Shopping as a family


    My dh does the same thing. We sat down and did a budget. He works out of town Mon-Fri. He takes a certain amount of cash with him each Monday. This is supposed to be his grocery money. He also takes a cooler of food and some pantry items. There?s not much he really has to buy.

    Our problem is I keep seeing charges on the debit card for Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, etc.



    Then when we have a discussion about it, he always says ?Oh ya, I need a new fishing reel (or something) you need to work that into the budget.? Excuse me!!



    Our last conversation I threatened to turn it all completely over to him. He wanted nothing to do with it.

    So, put up or shut up. We?ll see how long this lasts.



    Tracy

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    RE: Budget101.com : Re: Problems Shopping as a family



    ::
    :: Our last conversation I threatened to turn it all completely
    :: over to him. He wanted nothing to do with it.
    ::


    You know, I"ve been reading this thread with a lot of interest but from a
    different perspective. When I first married my now DH I was a control freak
    who worried and fretted and micro-managed every purchase (had to because I
    was single and unemployed at one point which was very scary for me); I was
    miserable, he was miserable and at some point, probably six months into our
    marriage, I just asked him to take over the bill paying to relieve me of
    that burden.

    Amazingly we are now in a better place financially than when I was in
    control of the finances. He's consolidated bills, found deals on items,
    pays everyone online and on time, etc.

    He also does the shopping (doesn't use coupons but shops at local ethnic
    places and eshews typical American junk food -- he's Burmese, BTW) almost
    all the time and the cooking pretty much all the time. I still get my
    frozen pizza every now and then, but he did not grow up in a country with a
    lot of choices for meals, let alone fast food or convenience products so
    he's not familiar with using them.

    We have the best stocked spice and sauce cubboard of any of my friends, and
    truly, that helps with the doledrums of what to make for dinner. It works
    for us. And, looking back, I'm amazed at how much calmer and more relaxed I
    am about my spending, but I would have to tell you I'm also a lot more
    conscious and will fess up to buying a $6 sandwich for lunch and using the
    debit card than I would two years ago!

    Another option would be to hand your spouse/partner a list of your pantry
    items with an envelope of CASH. Take away the debit and credit cards so
    ONLY cash can be used during the shopping trip. I would hope two things
    would happen: being suddenly responsible for the family's food for a week or
    two should make for pause when considering sodas or fruit with only $50 on
    hand; and two, the cash will force an honest assessment of every item in the
    basket because NO ONE wants to get to the checkout and not have enough to
    cover their bill!

    Before you shake your head no and find all sorts of excuses as to why not I
    would just suggest giving it consideration because I truly believe if you
    ask your husbands to become involved in the purchase and acquisition of
    stuff for the family, they will (or should) pay attention and try to do
    well.

    Best to all,
    Deborah
    NoVA

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    RE: Budget101.com : Problems Shopping as a family


    Make sure you have eaten BEFORE going into the store. Also, buy a fountain soda for hubby to carry around. That may help cut down on the impulse buys. Really, the best way is to NOT take him with you. Go when he is at work. If you need to swap some babysitting so you can go without the kids too and concentrate. Your older child can really benefit by going with you and learning how to find a bargain and keeping track of prices. The trade off here, is for you to buy some sodas for hubby to have at home. The Walmart brand and Shasta are cheaper than the big name sodas. It may be that hubby feels "deprived" of all the "fun" stuff. If some sodas will keep him happy and let you cut money elsewhere, than the cost of the soda is worth it IMHO.

    Teri Woods
    Wife of 1 and Mother of 5

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    I bring my 13 YO DD shopping with me ahen I go...she has become better than me at finding bargains sometimes! My DH will only drink Pepsi and its usually 99 cents for a 2 liter bottle....but I only buy the 2 liters when he wants it because they are cheaper then the cans.
    Holly

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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: Problems Shopping as a family


    Rebecca

    I would get a small cooler from the dollar store. I would ask him just try it my way for a week and see how much money is left over. Pack a lunch for him and put the sodas in the cooler too. Make sure that it can't spill over and give him something to *&(%^ about

    Wendy

 

 
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