Over The Hill Survival Kit
Memory Mints: for Senior Moments
Duct Tape: Instant face lift
Age Spots Remover: For those nasty brown spots
A String: to keep your glasses nearby
Magnifying glass: to read the really small print…
Paddle ball: for strenuous exercise
Tweezers: to remove chin hairs, nose hairs, or ear hairs, like stray eyebrows.
Emergency whistle: for when you’ve fallen and can’t get up
Oil of Old Age Lotion: for dry, old cracked skin
Fan: for hot flashes
Funnel: because you wonder why everyone has started to mumble
Old Age Pills: take as directed.
Cup for teeth: because you & your teeth don’t sleep together
Playing cards:. In large print
Over the Hill Pills: take as needed for those ‘senior moments’
Maxi pad: because everything either dries up or leaks
Over The Soap: with exclusive, industrial strength anti-aging ingredients
Hair Color: To cover the Grey
Decision Dice: to plan your day
Hot Flash Cream: for those menopause moments
Nose Clip: to stop snoring
All Bran Cereal: because all your wild oats have turned to bran
40 Pennies: a start on your retirement fund
Pepcid tablets: for constant heartburn
Ben Gay: because at the breakfast you hear snap!, crackle! & pop!, & you’re not eating cereal.
Treasure Box : because you have entered the metallic age – silver hair, gold teeth & lead bottom.
Photo Album: to help your memory
A Placard : Be proud to be a “Priceless Antique”
This is a great article. I like how it includes different ideas for those who are feeling old and ready to retire after turning 50. It also has some good tips that can be applied more broadly than just once you turn fifty, such as creating an emergency fund and planning retirement early on in life. The last tip about getting the right insurance plan was really interesting too!