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Over The Hill Survival Kit

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Over The Hill Survival Kit

Memory Mints: for Senior Moments

Duct Tape: Instant face lift

Age Spots Remover: For those nasty brown spots

A String: to keep your glasses nearby

Magnifying glass: to read the really small print…

Paddle ball: for strenuous exercise

Tweezers: to remove chin hairs, nose hairs, or ear hairs, like stray eyebrows.

Emergency whistle: for when you’ve fallen and can’t get up

Oil of Old Age Lotion: for dry, old cracked skin

Fan: for hot flashes

Funnel: because you wonder why everyone has started to mumble

Old Age Pills: take as directed.

Cup for teeth: because you & your teeth don’t sleep together

Playing cards:. In large print

Over the Hill Pills: take as needed for those ‘senior moments’

Maxi pad: because everything either dries up or leaks

Over The Soap: with exclusive, industrial strength anti-aging ingredients

Hair Color: To cover the Grey

Decision Dice: to plan your day

Hot Flash Cream: for those menopause moments

Nose Clip: to stop snoring

All Bran Cereal: because all your wild oats have turned to bran

40 Pennies: a start on your retirement fund

Pepcid tablets: for constant heartburn

Ben Gay: because at the breakfast you hear snap!, crackle! & pop!, & you’re not eating cereal.

Treasure Box : because you have entered the metallic age – silver hair, gold teeth & lead bottom.

Photo Album: to help your memory

A Placard : Be proud to be a “Priceless Antique”

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1 thought on “Over The Hill Survival Kit”

  1. This is a great article. I like how it includes different ideas for those who are feeling old and ready to retire after turning 50. It also has some good tips that can be applied more broadly than just once you turn fifty, such as creating an emergency fund and planning retirement early on in life. The last tip about getting the right insurance plan was really interesting too!


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