Over The Hill Survival Kit
Memory Mints: for Senior Moments
Duct Tape: Instant face lift
Age Spots Remover: For those nasty brown spots
A String: to keep your glasses nearby
Magnifying glass: to read the really small print…
Paddle ball: for strenuous exercise
Tweezers: to remove chin hairs, nose hairs, or ear hairs, like stray eyebrows.
Emergency whistle: for when you’ve fallen and can’t get up
Oil of Old Age Lotion: for dry, old cracked skin
Fan: for hot flashes
Funnel: because you wonder why everyone has started to mumble
Old Age Pills: take as directed.
Cup for teeth: because you & your teeth don’t sleep together
Playing cards:. In large print
Over the Hill Pills: take as needed for those ‘senior moments’
Maxi pad: because everything either dries up or leaks
Over The Soap: with exclusive, industrial strength anti-aging ingredients
Hair Color: To cover the Grey
Decision Dice: to plan your day
Hot Flash Cream: for those menopause moments
Nose Clip: to stop snoring
All Bran Cereal: because all your wild oats have turned to bran
40 Pennies: a start on your retirement fund
Pepcid tablets: for constant heartburn
Ben Gay: because at the breakfast you hear snap!, crackle! & pop!, & you’re not eating cereal.
Treasure Box : because you have entered the metallic age – silver hair, gold teeth & lead bottom.
Photo Album: to help your memory
A Placard : Be proud to be a “Priceless Antique”