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How NOT to Wash a Dog

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Ok, this was so good I had to share. Our dog "Ringo" (yes I love the Beatles, but my favorite is John...not a good dog name) is 2 years old and about 85 lbs. I call him our little ox. My dd referrs to him as her hairy little brother. He is a sweet dog, but a spaz. We got him at the shelter when he was 6 wks. old so we don't really know what kind of dog he is. They listed him as a husky mix because he has one blue and one brown eye. He also has 2 coats of fur....a down and regular...great!

You can guess that because of his size that giving him a bath is a chore. I have checked all our local groomers and they charge $85 for the bath and extra for his fur type. If you are in as much shock as I was, you probablly would go and buy a $5 bottle of dog shampoo and give it a try, right. Well I did, and today was the day.

I problably didn't mention that he is terrified of water...I know that when I got his collar off and locked the bathroom door I was reminded. I turned on the water and sat on the toilet to get his booties on (so he doesn't scratch the tub). He jumped on top of me and knocked me off the I was not hurt, but the toilet seat came with me...ugg.

Anyhow, our tub has sliding glass doors...I had to pick him up...uggg again...and then put him in the tub. He just stood there paralized as I washed him..thank God. When I finished I shut the glass doors to let him shake a bit...not a good idea. The doors are now covered in fur clumps. So I get him out onto the floor, which I had removed all obsticales, and he starts shaking. I don't know why he is so scared. He whines and I try to comfort him. Then he delivers me a present (yes he pooed). I open the bathroom door and let him free.

My whole house smells of wet dog and poo. I have every candle lit that I own. He is of course laying against the couch in his usual spot, while I am trying to get the hair balls out of the bath and figure out how to duct tape a toilet seat until my dh comes home.

The funny thing is that with all the mishaps I think I still saved that's crazy! And this is how NOT to wash a dog.

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  1. Janice Terrell's Avatar
    Oh poor Jaime - I used to be a dog groomer about 15 yrs. ago. $15 to $18 would get a good brushing, a bath w/dip and a nail trim. Even BIG dogs, unless matted, were included in this price. Wished I wasn't so crippled up - I might go back to work!!! LOL LOL Then again maybe not!!!
  2. jaime's Avatar
    LOL ...thanks Janice...I think I might have to learn how to become one ...I didn't mention the amount of towels I used or the fact that I now have another set of paint clothes LOL
  3. wilbe95's Avatar
    Oh Jaime, you had me laughing so hard, your descriptions helped me to visualize the whole thing. What a clean up you will have, but I agree it has to be a lot less than the $85 you would have spent. Hopefully it will be awhile before he needs another bath. Sounds like he needs some cuddling and loving now.
  4. Janice Terrell's Avatar
    Now he is a big, clean, traumatized baby that needs lots of lovin & hugs. Maybe next time he needs a bath it can be out in the sunshine in the yard. If you do that though, better put him on a leash or he'll head for the first dirt patch he can find!! LOL
  5. Janice Terrell's Avatar
    Perhaps your dd will give her hairy little brother the loving & attention he needs right now!
  6. JoAnn's Avatar
    I'm soo sorry Jamie, I'm still shaking my head and laughing. Your day had to been a site to see. I just don't know who to feel sorry for --- you or Ringo poor Ox he must of been so scared --- That everything left him right there...Lollll
    Would like to be a fly on the wall when you tell DH how you broke the toilet seat. Lolll
  7. tsgal's Avatar
    Oh my goodness........that was so funny. I'm still laughing about it, and I wasn't even there. What a time you had with your fur funny. I thought that my jack russell was a pain to give a bath, boy was I wrong. She just tries to jump out of the tub everytime I bath her, so I'm usually soaked by the time I"m done with her.
  8. jaime's Avatar
    Thanks everyone...I just had to share was so comical. We tried to give him a bath outside with the hose last summer. I tied him to my dd playhouse (made of wood) he literally broke off one of the front posts and ran when I turned on the water. Now that was a sight to see...he was running around the yard dragging a two-by-four. LOL
  9. Tarrien's Avatar
    my old dog was a german shepherd lab mix, she costed around $40 to groom professionally. The best way to bathe a dog from my experiences is to have one (strongest*) person hold the dog outside, one shampoo, and one hose down. But by the sounds of it you might have to find someone mighty strong to hold him if he broke off a post
  10. jaime's Avatar
    Tarrien, I will have to try it again outside when the weather gets better...but I wont be the one holding him lol
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