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Day 11: 1/3rd of the way Through...

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So we've completed 1/3rd of the whole30 experience.. and my views have changed ever so slightly.
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First of all, it was my understanding that the point of the whole30 program was to get people to pay attention to what they eat and be more aware of what they're putting into their bodies; to pay attention to whether you're using food for emotional needs rather than physical nourishment and to get you to STOP focusing on food.

But guess what, this whole damn thing has done the complete OPPOSITE of what it's supposedly designed for... STOP worrying about food, STOP thinking about food?

Not likely.. because while you're on the program, you get spanked if you make a "mistake", for example, you finally find a nitrate free bacon only to discover that son of a bitch has a touch of sugar in it, ADD another 30 days to your punishment. Try finding a compliant can of coconut milk, oh.. you Will, but it's $3 a can.

Or for my poor husband who has been extremely dedicated, more so than I could ever have imagined, who has spent the last 11 days asking almost continually, "Can I have ...", or "How about this, is it okay?", or "Is there something besides water that I can drink?", like a kid on a new allergy diet trying to find his way through and to be honest, when I realized it today, it pissed me off. This has got to be the most ridiculous, idiotic thing that I have done in the name of "health".

It's one thing to choose the best foods possible for proper nourishment, it's quite another to inflict punishment when a mistake is made. My husband was munching some cashews, something we wouldn't normally buy when he flipped the container over and discovered they were cooked in peanut oil. Well shit, that's another 30 days dear, if we're following the plan to the T.

Well, apparently, we're not, because I'll be goddamned if I'm going to start all over because some stupid cashews touched peanut oil.

For the last 2 weeks (yes, even days before we started on this journey together), our ENTIRE focus has been about FOOD. I food blog for a damn living folks and I don't focus this much on food, think about that for a moment, mull that shit over in your head... and then realize how completely idiotic it truly is.

I find it absolutely idiotic to spend every single day of your life worrying about what you can and cannot eat, whether this next bite meets some guideline that someone thought up- not a nutrition expert, not a doctor (not that being a doctor means they know something about nutrition because most doctors don't have a CLUE about nutrition), but just a woman and her friend who created this idea of whole foods for 30 days.

Well duh, if you don't eat sugar, you're going to lose a shit ton of weight because let's face it, the average American eats a crap load of junk in their diet, but if you spend the entire 30 days worrying about every single bite you put into your mouth you're probably going to become a manic freak who discovers that eating mashed banana with a tablespoon of unsweetened baking cocoa is the closest thing to real chocolate pudding and if you close your eyes while you scarf it down you can almost taste the real thing... almost. Except that it tastes like nasty ass banana and unsweetened chocolate.

Yes, I've lost weight, I don't know how much because the scale police say I can't weigh myself, but I'd guess about 5 lbs... mainly because I get too frustrated trying to figure out an edible/palatable snack and end up drinking a big ol' glass of water instead. It's been a struggle to create interesting meals that my family will enjoy without crossing the line of "SWYPO" (Sex with your Pants on).

The other day I made a delectable jerk chicken salad with homemade whole30 compliant chipotle mayo with jalapeno bits in it...but alas, all we could wrap it in was lettuce leaves. We packed our picnic lunch and head to a waterfront park to enjoy it and by the time we got there, the leaves had wilted, the wraps were watery and we ate with the juice running down our forearms. Did we have a good time, you bet your ass we did, but it was utterly ridiculous, at best.

I guess that's what pisses me off the most about this "journey", if the food is compliant - it doesn't have additives, nitrates, sugars of any kind, alcohol or grains, then what the hell is the problem with eating it?? Oh yeah, because it's not supposed to be easy and it's not supposed to feel good and food is just to feed the body.

Guess what... they're WRONG on SO MANY LEVELS.

1. Food Nourishes the Soul as well as the Body.

2. Constantly worrying about what you are "allowed to eat", what is "compliant", whether or not it's SWYPO, is a waste of your time, your energy, and your life. I literally write menu plans every week, I literally create recipes every single day of my life and I don't spend HALF this amount of time focusing on what I can or cannot eat. That fact alone makes me angry. I cannot tell you the number of hours of my life that I've wasted the last 2 weeks worrying about FOOD. Something I apparently NEVER did before. In the past I've worried about whether we had enough to eat in the house, or whether everyone would be full, or whether I'd have to add a bit more to accommodate an additional person at the table... but I've NEVER had to worry about whether I was "allowed" to eat something.

So why the hell am I still doing this? Because I said I would, because you can't judge something unless you've tried it, because my husband committed to the program for ME, (because I asked him to) and because eating whole foods without additives, nitrates, coloring or other shit is actually good for my body.

Oh.. and if you're following this miserable ass program and TOM is visiting you & you want CHOCOLATE or you'll kick the nearest puppy, put 2 frozen bananas, 2 Tbs of Unsweetened cocoa powder and a drizzle of coconut milk into a blender, puree for a minute or so and you'll have Chocolate Ice Dream. You can't call it ice cream, the SWYPO police will haunt you when you sleep if you do.

Over and out.

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