Sorry Sir Mix-a-lot.
by, 06-06-2014 at 03:04 PM (1075 Views)
Hello, my name is Corinne and I don't like big butts. I am sorry Sir Mix-a-lot, but I just don't. At least not on me. I want to be skinny and fit into a size 8, like I was when I was a teenager. I also want Brad Pitt in my kitchen with nothing but an apron on, making me dinner. Maybe if I close my eyes and wish really hard................Nope! Still no Brad or size 8 body. Darn it!
Now for a dose of reality. I will not have the body I had when I was a teenager, it is just not going to happen. For a few reasons, but mainly I am not a teenager anymore. I am a grown woman, width and height. I could starve myself and I might fit into a size 9 with a liberal amount of grease and the jaws of life. I will never wear a size 8 again, but at least I can still fit into the earrings I wore back then.
I can sit around and blame other people for my weight or even say that it's baby weight, but we would all know that is a load of bull. No one forced me to eat that box of doughnut holes, in fact I think I growled at my husband when he tried to take the away. As for the baby weight....my baby is 4 and when he was born he weighed less than 2 pounds. I would love to say that the other 49 pounds I gained in my pregnancy was water weight, but only if you count nacho cheese as water. Which nobody does, I checked. I have a big butt because I didn't want to put the fork down or the doughnuts or the nachos, or the Girl Scout cookies. I have no one to blame for my expanded waist line but myself.
Saying this, I am now going to step away from the all-you-can-eat buffet and start walking. I would run, but it hurts my boobs. So if any of you ever see me running, you should run too because there will be something scary will be chasing me.
If any of you have ideas on how I can be successful on a budget and limited time, please let me know. Also, I think I shall document this adventure. So....see you next week, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.