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Self reflection!

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I'm finally home!
The work pace was grueling but worth it. I know I can do a little better on time by manageing things better. For instance, I lost my list from last year and ended up driving around looking for some of my customers. I'm sure I missed some. Other's,I've been working for now for years, and wish I had time to just sit and chat. As busy as I was though, I had time to reflect. Not idle time. But the kind of time you have when you are working alone and your thoughts leave the task at hand. I was in that place a lot. My outward self painting candy canes and snowmen, but my inward self was setting some things right.
Some of you may have heard me complain about burn out. I've been saying for the past few years that I just didn't want to do this anymore. I'd hustled to hard for to long. I really thought that was the case. But it wasn't . I lost my Dady a few years ago now, and my Mama a year later. I lost the bio father( didn't know him for very long or very well) in between the two of them. Ummm. For the bio, it was a strange sense of loss. To much to share. But as for Mama and Daddy, it was two tremendous blows for me.
I havn't been burnt out.
I've been grieving my Mama and Daddy.

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  1. wilbe95's Avatar
    Everyone grieves differently. Many will throw themselves into their work to 'avoid' dealing with the reality of that loss. I hope that now that you are aware that you are trying to cope with the loss of both of your parents that you will take some time to heal and maybe through your art that is your healing process. You have such wonderful talent and are bringing joy to so very many with your windows. Hugs.
  2. splashangel's Avatar
    Thank you wilbe! I had no clue I was grieving. I just thought I was suddenly real burnt out. I dreaded going to work and had very few good ideas. I just wanted to be at home. I was on a job and a black couple ( my parents were white)reminded me of my parents. Their conversation with each other and their build... Even the hair styles and clothes. Tore me up! But that's when I realized what had been going on. I'm now unblocked and about to start a new buisness. I've had an idea for years and am feeling pretty confident about it.
  3. MrsPaws's Avatar
    Just like willbe95 said...everyone grieves differently. Some close up or off, some avoid the grief altogether, and some are more open and blatant with their grief. However a person does it, it has to be done eventually.
    Nothing but time will bring ease, but it sounds as if you're on your path now.
    Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
  4. splashangel's Avatar
    Thanks MrsPaws!
    I like getting loves and hugs very much!