What to Say to Telemarketers

The Gloves are Off Daily Funnies What to Say to Telemarketers

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    • #270729

      If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you sure could use some money.

      If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Alternately, you can tell them, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, and my dog just died” when they try to get to the sale, just keep talking about your problems.

      If they say they’re John Doe from xyz company, ask them to spell their name. then ask them to spell the company name. then ask them where it is located.

      continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

      this works great if you are male: telemarketer: “hi, my name is judy and i’m with xyz company” you: wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, “what are you wearing?”

      cry out in surprise, “judy, is that you? oh my god, judy, how have you been?” hopefully this will give judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

      say “no,” over and over. be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. this is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

    • #415345

      I love these. It is fun to mess with telemarketers. Thanks for the post.

    • #415354

      Beth, you are so funny lolll.. My youngest son used to work for a local Telemarketer Company. He would come home and tell us some wild stories and one liners people would say..

      But I think yours are the best..

    • #415385

      JoAnn – wish I could take credit for these but they are from Baggz1971. I think they are great. Thanks anyway.

    • #415399

      @Janice Terrell 108575 wrote:

      JoAnn – wish I could take credit for these but they are from Baggz1971. I think they are great. Thanks anyway.

      Think my eyes went wacky thanks for pointing that out.

      Like duh lolll.

    • #417939

      Hahaha, I once had a rug shampoo guy that would NOT go away, he called repeatedly and even had the kahunahs to show up on my doorstep one day to offer a “Free rug cleaning”, I said to him in a panicky voice,

      “Oh My god, I am so glad you’re here! Can you get Goat blood stains out?? I’ve been trying ever since the ritual . . “

      and before I finished the word ritual, the dweeb was back in his car and pulling out of the driveway.

      hahahahaha.. gotta love gullible salesmen.

    • #417949
      Quote:
      “oh my god, i am so glad you’re here! can you get goat blood stains out?? i’ve been trying ever since the ritual .

      . “

      and before i finished the word ritual, the dweeb was back in his car and pulling out of the driveway.

      hahahahaha.. gotta love gullible salesmen

      liss now that one tops the cake — still laughing at this end…

    • #417953

      LOL these are great! I once had a window sales person call my home (when I was 16) and they asked us what we used to keep the cold air from coming through the windows. I told them “duct tape and plastic of course” they hung up LOL.

    • #417995

      omg, these all are so hilarious!!! i’m still laughing!!!!!

    • #418011

      Beth, these are great. Still laughing at this end too……….lol………..I love it. They’ll put wacky person on the file and never call back again…………lol

    • #418402

      LOL thanks for sharing. Lately most the calls we get are Telemarketers. They even call my cell phone constantly.

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The Gloves are Off Daily Funnies What to Say to Telemarketers