Wedding Invitation Ettiquette Question

Budget101 Discussion List Archives Budget101 Discussion List Wedding Invitation Ettiquette Question

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    • #252902

      Keep in mind a few things-

      1. The bride & groom may have decided on a hard cut off line of 18, and

      not known your older child was 18 yet.

      2. In allowing 1 family to bring “children” under the age of 18 in,

      they would have had other people wanting the same.

      3. The cost of food is one of the biggest expenses for a wedding, so

      chances are, by eliminating “children”, it cut the expense to a more

      managable degree.

      Now, honestly, I don’t consider people in the mid to late teens as

      children. They are young adults. But, unless they are close to the

      bride and groom, most often, young adults also don’t want to spend

      their weekend cooped up at a wedding reception where they don’t have

      friends to keep them entertained.

      Personally, we allowed kids at our reception, and it didn’t both us. We

      had a very laid back, casual reception, and while the kids could be

      bothersome at times, it wasn’t something that I felt ruined the event.

      However, not everyone thinks that kids running around terrorizing a

      reception is a good idea, either. Family event or not, the day isn’t

      about the kids who are allowed to run free- it’s about the two people

      getting married, and celebrating.

      More often than not, in all the receptions I’ve ever been to or

      involved as a member of the wedding party, you tend to have young kids

      roaming free, running wild, while the parents socialize and don’t pay

      attention to them.

      At one reception I was at a few years back, I was basically handed the

      baby of the Bride & Groom, and left holding her for a good hour before

      I finally gave up waiting for someone to rescue me, and handed her off

      to one of her grand parents. While the Bride & Groom shouldn’t have to

      worry about taking care of their child during the reception, they also

      should have had something planned ahead of time, so that it wouldn’t be

      passed off on the guests.

      At another reception I was at when I was about 18, there were kids

      running around all over the place, then they fell into the cake table,

      and the cake fell to the ground, completly ruined- before pictures were

      even taken.

      I’ve seen kids running free and grabbing favors off tables like it was

      a free day at the dollar store, as well as messing with the gift table.

      All unsupervised.

      I don’t think that it’s too much to ask that parents either leave their

      children at home with a sitter for the evening, or that they at the

      very least, supervise their own children while at an event like this.

      Again, I didn’t mind having children at my reception. But I don’t think

      that the Bride and Groom in any situation should be looked down on

      simply because they want to forgo any headaches involved with having

      children invited. it’s not a personal slap in the face. they don’t send

      a “kid free” invite to just a few people, and allow others to bring


      now, granted, if a bride & groom were to pull someone aside and

      say, “hey, your kids are little terrors, don’t bring them to our

      party!”, then i’d agree- it’s offensive.

      most often, though, it’s simply a matter of people getting offended

      over something that is not meant to be offensive, and hey, if they do

      get offended over the way a party they are not hosting, not paying for,

      and not involved in the planning of goes, then maybe it is better off

      they don’t attend.

      the bottom line at the end of the day is the bride & groom pay for the

      party, provide the party, and what they want should be listened to.

      — in, “Katrina Hartman” wrote:


      > Denise,

      > I guess I should have prefaced this with the fact that we have been

      good friends with the groom’s parents for 25 plus years. I was a

      bridesmaid in their wedding 22 years ago, so we’ve “known” the groom

      since before he was born. The groom and our daughter attending HS

      together for 2 years…we live in neighboring villages. My DH kinds

      took it as a slap in the face…it ws ok for the “kids” to attend the

      wedding, but not the “adult celebration”, heck…the groom just turned

      20 in June, not even old enough to LEGALLY consume alcohol in our state.


      > Katrina

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Budget101 Discussion List Archives Budget101 Discussion List Wedding Invitation Ettiquette Question