- This topic has 8 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated December 22, 2008 at 9:01 pm by .
- December 21, 2008 at 8:34 pm #268051
I saw this and again I thought you all would get a laugh outta this too!!
My dearest darling Edward,
What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.
Your deeply loving
The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I’m so touched and grateful!
With undying love, as always,
My darling Edward,
You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France?
It’s a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we’ll find some. Anyway, thank you so much; they’re lovely.
Your devoted Emily.
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly – they make telephoning almost impossible – but I expect they’ll calm down when they get used to their new home.
Anyway, I’m very grateful, of course I am.
Love from Emily.
The mailman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly! A really lovely present! Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after.
The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I’m afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to “wring” their necks. Mother has such a sense of humor.
This time she’s only joking, I think, but I do know what she means. Still, I love the rings.
Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn’t six socking great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they’ve already ruined the croquet lawn.
I know you meant well, but let’s call a halt, shall we?
I thought I said no more birds. this morning i woke up to find no more than seven swans, all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. i’d rather not think what’s happened to the goldfish.
the whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what they leave behind them, so please, please, stop!
Frankly, I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids? And their cows!
Is this some kind of a joke? If so, I’m afraid I don’t find it very amusing.
Look here, Edward,
This has gone far enough. You say you’re sending me nine ladies dancing. All I can say is, judging from the way they dance, they’re certainly not ladies.
The village just isn’t accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless viragos, with nothing on but their lipstick, cavorting round the green, and it’s Mother and I who get the blame. If you value our friendship, which I do (less and less), kindly stop this ridiculous behavior at once!
As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing up and down all over what used to be the garden, before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it. And several of them, I have just noticed, are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbors are trying to have us evicted.
I shall never speak to you again.
This is the last straw! You know I detest bagpipes! The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for habitation.
At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. I hope you’re satisfied.
Our client, Miss Emily Wilbraham, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on her premises at 7:30 this morning of the entire percussion section of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and several of their friends, she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent you importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.
I am, Sir, yours faithfully,
Attorney at law.
- December 21, 2008 at 8:58 pm #406653
That is just tooo funny, Loved it, thanks for the chuckle.
- December 21, 2008 at 10:06 pm #406667
LOL this is hilarious.
- December 21, 2008 at 10:33 pm #406674
This is too funny! 🙂
- December 22, 2008 at 9:07 am #406709
That is really good Lynn. I loved it, I needed a good laugh this morning. Thanks.
- December 22, 2008 at 12:18 pm #406719
Now I’m worried – you have my address!!!
- December 22, 2008 at 12:49 pm #406722
Oh my that’s too funny Janice… Open with caution Lolll.
- December 22, 2008 at 8:26 pm #406767
When I read that…I couldnt stop laughing!!! I wouldnt do that to you….you have Sissy!! Your hands are already full!!!
I found this and thought yall would get a laugh…if my hubby did this to me…I think he would be in some serious trouble!!
- December 22, 2008 at 8:46 pm #406768
The Jan. 3rd letter scares me most!!!
- December 22, 2008 at 9:01 pm #406771
That one made me worry too…dont worry I wouldnt do that to you 🙂
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