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    • #250434

      thanksgiving turkey

      when i was a young turkey,
      new to the coop,
      my big brother mike
      took me out on the stoop,
      then he sat me down,
      and he spoke real slow,
      and he told me there was something
      that i had to know;
      his look and his tone
      i will always remember,
      when he told me of the horrors
      of….. black november;
      “come about august,
      now listen to me,
      each day you’ll get six meals
      instead of just three,
      “and soon you’ll be thick,
      where once you were thin,
      and you’ll grow a big rubbery thing
      under your chin;
      “and then one morning,
      when you’re warm in your bed,
      in’ll burst the farmer’s wife,
      and hack off your head;
      “then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ‘n pink,
      and scoop out all your insides
      and leave ya lyin’ in the sink;
      “and then comes the worst part”
      he said not bluffing,
      “she’ll spread your cheeks
      and pack your rear with stuffing”.
      well, the rest of his
      were too grim to repeat,
      i sat on the stoop
      like a winged piece of meat,
      and decided on the spot
      that to avoid being cooked,
      i’d have to lay low
      and remain overlooked;
      i began a new diet
      of nuts and granola,
      high-roughage salads,
      juice and diet cola;
      and as they ate pastries,
      chocolates and crepes,
      i stayed in my room
      doing jane fonda tapes;
      i maintained my weight
      of two pounds and a half,
      and tried not to notice
      when the bigger birds laughed;
      but ’twas i who was laughing,
      under my breath,
      as they chomped and they chewed,
      ever closer to death;
      and sure enough
      when black november rolled around,
      i was the last turkey
      left in the entire compound;
      so now i’m a pet
      in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
      i haven’t a worry,
      so i eat and i nap;
      she held me today,
      while sewing and humming,
      and smiled at me and said:
      “christmas is coming…”

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