- This topic has 25 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated August 29, 2007 at 12:44 am by .
- August 29, 2007 at 12:44 am #253258
I would highly recommend you reading the book Total
Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I haven’t committed to
his plan yet, but I’ve lurked on the message board for
quite some time and have learned a lot.
His plan concentrates on going through certain baby
steps in order….and creating a zero based budget and
using the envelope system. All good stuff.
Borrow the book from the library if you can, or maybe
you can find a good deal at half.com.
I can see how frustrated you are with the situation,
especially when you have a spouse that isn’t on the
same page. You have to get serious with the finances
in order to change things.
— paradise2lost <email@example.com> wrote:
> My husband got home from work today and a glance at
> the most recent
> bills that arrived in today’s mail, began yet
> another round of our
> continuing battle over bills! We’ve been married
> over 10 years now,
> have 2 kids of our own plus his 19 yo daughter from
> his first
> marriage (she lives with her mother, but we help her
> out with things
> on occasion.) We seem to continually get in over
> our heads. Just
> when we feel like we’re getting on top of things,
> something always
> happens to throw a wrench into our finances and
> we’re back in debt up
> to our eyeballs. Throughout our life together I
> have been the “bill
> payer”… a job I’m resenting more and more. My
> husband blames me
> for our financial situation… he says I am not
> paying the bills
> correctly. That I “should be paying things off, not
> spreading the
> money around a little here a little there…” My
> point to him is if
> you have 5 or 6 bills due at the same time and only
> enough to make
> the minimum payments on each, or pay off one
> completely and let the
> other 4 or 5 slide… how can you do that!?!? We’d
> end up having
> utilities shut off, no gas in the cars, no
> groceries, or worse credit
> that we already have!!! He doesn’t want to actually
> take over doing
> the bills, he just wants to tell me how to do it!
> We’ve never really
> worked off a budget… I’ve attempted to several
> times, but seeing
> all the debt written out on paper just seems to make
> the task of
> paying it all off that much more daunting. Plus,
> when I’ve actually
> listed everything in black and white, it just sets
> my husband off!
> He’ll read through it and start yelling, “Why is
> that bill still on
> here!? I thought that was paid?!? Why are we
> behind on that one?!?
> etc… It’s so FRUSTRATING! I want to have a
> conversation about getting our finances straightened
> out, but my
> husband just starts yelling at me and then I get
> defensive and yell
> too, and nothing gets accomplished. I’m tired of
> being blamed for
> everything also. It’s not like I’m buying clothes
> or frivolous stuff
> for myself. I’m not wasting our money. I admit I
> have made a few
> errors in our check book that have screwed up our
> finances at times
> (i.e. overdraft fees etc.) The only other financial
> “sin” I’m
> most guilty of is eating out for lunch too often
> during the work
> week… But, he does too, so it’s not like I’m the
> only one. The
> last few weeks I’ve really made a conscious effort
> to take lunch from
> home (leftovers, a sandwich, etc) and have only ate
> out once or twice
> in the last 3 weeks. I’ve told my husband he should
> do the same, but
> he continues to spend $20 to $30 a week on breakfast
> and/or lunch at
> the cafeteria at his work. He said he’d take lunch
> if I made it for
> him every day. Fat chance! I’m not his mother!
> I can make my
> own lunch then he’s capapble of doing the same for
> himself. Am I
> The thing is… in almost every other way, our
> marriage is great.
> The ONLY thing we ever really argue about is money.
> But it’s enough
> that it’s straining our marriage. I’m sick and
> tired of fighting
> about money.
> I know we should be doing a lot better than we are
> right now. We
> both work full time, and gross about $60,000 a
> year… but our actual
> take home pay (after taxes, insurance, 401k,
> husband’s union dues,
> onsite childcare for daughter) is about $3800 per
> month. We are
> behind on a few things and have some old debt that
> has gone to
> collection. Our mortgage payment is current, but
> we’re usually down
> to the wire to get it in on time each month. We
> live about 25 miles
> from our jobs so gas is a big expense. We cannot
> really ride
> together as our work hours are very different most
> days. Our son is
> 8 years old and entering 3rd grade this fall, our
> daughter is 4 1/2
> and starting PreSchool this year. They both need
> new shoes and
> clothes and I have yet to buy anything and school
> starts next week.
> We rarely go out as we never seem to have the extra
> money. Our
> primary entertainment is our Netflix movie rentals.
> I’m tired of
> living paycheck to paycheck and never getting ahead.
> help!!!! i need any and all advice i can get. i’ve
> been primarily
> a “lurker” on this group for several months now. i
> guess the latest
> blow up with my husband today prompted me to write.
> i know many of
> you have mentioned dave ramsey on here and have
> actually been to his
> website today to see what he’s about. i’m thinking
> of signing up for
> his total money makeover plan… have any of you
> done it?
> any advice will be greatly appreciated!!! thanks
> for listening!
> wendy in mi
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