So tired of fighting with my husband over money!!!

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      Wendy,

      go to your local library and get Total Money Makeover, and/or Financial Peace

      both by Dave Ramsey.

      You and YOUR HUSBAND have to read the books. And get on the plan TOGETHER or it

      will never work.

      Thomas & Tracy Harris

      TNT Quarter Horses home of:

      TNTS Jack Be Blue – 2004 AQHA Buckskin Stallion

      TNTS Medicine Man – 2005 AQHA Perlino Stallion

      [url][/url]

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      Original Message
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      From: paradise2lost

      To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com

      Sent: Tuesday, August 28, 2007 8:44 PM

      Subject: Budget101.com : So tired of fighting with my husband over money!!!

      My husband got home from work today and a glance at the most recent

      bills that arrived in today’s mail, began yet another round of our

      continuing battle over bills! We’ve been married over 10 years now,

      have 2 kids of our own plus his 19 yo daughter from his first

      marriage (she lives with her mother, but we help her out with things

      on occasion.) We seem to continually get in over our heads. Just

      when we feel like we’re getting on top of things, something always

      happens to throw a wrench into our finances and we’re back in debt up

      to our eyeballs. Throughout our life together I have been the “bill

      payer”… a job I’m resenting more and more. My husband blames me

      for our financial situation… he says I am not paying the bills

      correctly. That I “should be paying things off, not spreading the

      money around a little here a little there…” My point to him is if

      you have 5 or 6 bills due at the same time and only enough to make

      the minimum payments on each, or pay off one completely and let the

      other 4 or 5 slide… how can you do that!?!? We’d end up having

      utilities shut off, no gas in the cars, no groceries, or worse credit

      that we already have!!! He doesn’t want to actually take over doing

      the bills, he just wants to tell me how to do it! We’ve never really

      worked off a budget… I’ve attempted to several times, but seeing

      all the debt written out on paper just seems to make the task of

      paying it all off that much more daunting. Plus, when I’ve actually

      listed everything in black and white, it just sets my husband off!

      He’ll read through it and start yelling, “Why is that bill still on

      here!? I thought that was paid?!? Why are we behind on that one?!?

      etc… It’s so FRUSTRATING! I want to have a meaningful

      conversation about getting our finances straightened out, but my

      husband just starts yelling at me and then I get defensive and yell

      too, and nothing gets accomplished. I’m tired of being blamed for

      everything also. It’s not like I’m buying clothes or frivolous stuff

      for myself. I’m not wasting our money. I admit I have made a few

      errors in our check book that have screwed up our finances at times

      (i.e. overdraft fees etc.) The only other financial “sin” I’m

      most guilty of is eating out for lunch too often during the work

      week… But, he does too, so it’s not like I’m the only one. The

      last few weeks I’ve really made a conscious effort to take lunch from

      home (leftovers, a sandwich, etc) and have only ate out once or twice

      in the last 3 weeks. I’ve told my husband he should do the same, but

      he continues to spend $20 to $30 a week on breakfast and/or lunch at

      the cafeteria at his work. He said he’d take lunch if I made it for

      him every day. Fat chance! I’m not his mother! If I can make my

      own lunch then he’s capapble of doing the same for himself. Am I

      right?!

      The thing is… in almost every other way, our marriage is great.

      The ONLY thing we ever really argue about is money. But it’s enough

      that it’s straining our marriage. I’m sick and tired of fighting

      about money.

      I know we should be doing a lot better than we are right now. We

      both work full time, and gross about $60,000 a year… but our actual

      take home pay (after taxes, insurance, 401k, husband’s union dues,

      onsite childcare for daughter) is about $3800 per month. We are

      behind on a few things and have some old debt that has gone to

      collection. Our mortgage payment is current, but we’re usually down

      to the wire to get it in on time each month. We live about 25 miles

      from our jobs so gas is a big expense. We cannot really ride

      together as our work hours are very different most days. Our son is

      8 years old and entering 3rd grade this fall, our daughter is 4 1/2

      and starting PreSchool this year. They both need new shoes and

      clothes and I have yet to buy anything and school starts next week.

      We rarely go out as we never seem to have the extra money. Our

      primary entertainment is our Netflix movie rentals. I’m tired of

      living paycheck to paycheck and never getting ahead.

      HELP!!!! I need any and all advice I can get. I’ve been primarily

      a “lurker” on this group for several months now. I guess the latest

      blow up with my husband today prompted me to write. I know many of

      you have mentioned Dave Ramsey on here and have actually been to his

      website today to see what he’s about. I’m thinking of signing up for

      his Total Money Makeover plan… have any of you done it?

      Any advice will be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks for listening!

      Wendy in MI

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Budget101 Discussion List Archives Budget101 Discussion List So tired of fighting with my husband over money!!!