- This topic has 25 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated August 29, 2007 at 12:44 am by .
- August 29, 2007 at 12:44 am #253289
go to your local library and get Total Money Makeover, and/or Financial Peace
both by Dave Ramsey.
You and YOUR HUSBAND have to read the books. And get on the plan TOGETHER or it
will never work.
Thomas & Tracy Harris
TNT Quarter Horses home of:
TNTS Jack Be Blue – 2004 AQHA Buckskin Stallion
TNTS Medicine Man – 2005 AQHA Perlino Stallion
Sent: Tuesday, August 28, 2007 8:44 PM
Subject: Budget101.com : So tired of fighting with my husband over money!!!
My husband got home from work today and a glance at the most recent
bills that arrived in today’s mail, began yet another round of our
continuing battle over bills! We’ve been married over 10 years now,
have 2 kids of our own plus his 19 yo daughter from his first
marriage (she lives with her mother, but we help her out with things
on occasion.) We seem to continually get in over our heads. Just
when we feel like we’re getting on top of things, something always
happens to throw a wrench into our finances and we’re back in debt up
to our eyeballs. Throughout our life together I have been the “bill
payer”… a job I’m resenting more and more. My husband blames me
for our financial situation… he says I am not paying the bills
correctly. That I “should be paying things off, not spreading the
money around a little here a little there…” My point to him is if
you have 5 or 6 bills due at the same time and only enough to make
the minimum payments on each, or pay off one completely and let the
other 4 or 5 slide… how can you do that!?!? We’d end up having
utilities shut off, no gas in the cars, no groceries, or worse credit
that we already have!!! He doesn’t want to actually take over doing
the bills, he just wants to tell me how to do it! We’ve never really
worked off a budget… I’ve attempted to several times, but seeing
all the debt written out on paper just seems to make the task of
paying it all off that much more daunting. Plus, when I’ve actually
listed everything in black and white, it just sets my husband off!
He’ll read through it and start yelling, “Why is that bill still on
here!? I thought that was paid?!? Why are we behind on that one?!?
etc… It’s so FRUSTRATING! I want to have a meaningful
conversation about getting our finances straightened out, but my
husband just starts yelling at me and then I get defensive and yell
too, and nothing gets accomplished. I’m tired of being blamed for
everything also. It’s not like I’m buying clothes or frivolous stuff
for myself. I’m not wasting our money. I admit I have made a few
errors in our check book that have screwed up our finances at times
(i.e. overdraft fees etc.) The only other financial “sin” I’m
most guilty of is eating out for lunch too often during the work
week… But, he does too, so it’s not like I’m the only one. The
last few weeks I’ve really made a conscious effort to take lunch from
home (leftovers, a sandwich, etc) and have only ate out once or twice
in the last 3 weeks. I’ve told my husband he should do the same, but
he continues to spend $20 to $30 a week on breakfast and/or lunch at
the cafeteria at his work. He said he’d take lunch if I made it for
him every day. Fat chance! I’m not his mother! If I can make my
own lunch then he’s capapble of doing the same for himself. Am I
The thing is… in almost every other way, our marriage is great.
The ONLY thing we ever really argue about is money. But it’s enough
that it’s straining our marriage. I’m sick and tired of fighting
I know we should be doing a lot better than we are right now. We
both work full time, and gross about $60,000 a year… but our actual
take home pay (after taxes, insurance, 401k, husband’s union dues,
onsite childcare for daughter) is about $3800 per month. We are
behind on a few things and have some old debt that has gone to
collection. Our mortgage payment is current, but we’re usually down
to the wire to get it in on time each month. We live about 25 miles
from our jobs so gas is a big expense. We cannot really ride
together as our work hours are very different most days. Our son is
8 years old and entering 3rd grade this fall, our daughter is 4 1/2
and starting PreSchool this year. They both need new shoes and
clothes and I have yet to buy anything and school starts next week.
We rarely go out as we never seem to have the extra money. Our
primary entertainment is our Netflix movie rentals. I’m tired of
living paycheck to paycheck and never getting ahead.
HELP!!!! I need any and all advice I can get. I’ve been primarily
a “lurker” on this group for several months now. I guess the latest
blow up with my husband today prompted me to write. I know many of
you have mentioned Dave Ramsey on here and have actually been to his
website today to see what he’s about. I’m thinking of signing up for
his Total Money Makeover plan… have any of you done it?
Any advice will be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks for listening!
Wendy in MI
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