If you don’t want to leave your husband, at the very least I suggest you join a Al-Anon group for yourself. I would also encourage your husband to seek out AA. AA is one of the finest life changing organizations in the world. Before you can confidently make a change in your external world with any success, you need to change your internal world (mental and spiritual). Please please go to a Al-Anon group for the sake of your children. I am a member of AA and believe me it has really changed my life for the better.