- April 22, 2007 at 3:38 pm #240505
The best advice with Teens is get all the advice you can and then follow your heart!
Mine is up and coming, but we are already having attitude issues. After some bumpy times, this is what works for us. If I ask for something that he feels is unfair or unusual, he can ask why if his tone is reasonable. I am always willing to share why I need help or why I think certain rules are good for him. However, if the attitude is angry or bad, it becomes a “because I said so” and they will have to wait to ask why later. This does not include asking for the general chores, they should just be done.
I am also willing to talk about why I chose the punishments I do, if the attitude is reasonable. Often I find some measure of black cloud is just part of accepting and he could care less what the reason is, now or later. Sometimes though he wants to know.
Last, I will not argue that I have different rules and expectations than what I grew up with. I was left to make my own choices way to early, with no guidance. My kids know that, in time, their choices will be their own and when possible I let them make them and accept consequences. But the argument “But you did” won’t get you any where. I am always working on being a better person, so I don’t feel guilty for the mistakes I have made in the past.
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