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      Avatar for BiggerPiggyBankBiggerPiggyBank
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      I agree with the sitting down and talking with the 16yr old. But I draw the line
      at apologizing to her for trying to parent her. I simply asked her what she
      wanted life at home to be like for the next two years until she was 18 and I
      listed them.

      I told her what I expected her to do for the next 2 years, how to
      act and any other items of contention and listed them.

      We both compromised
      /negotiated on on the list. But I made it very clear to her the rules i would
      not bend on and made it very crystal clear that if she refused to live by those
      few inflexible ones of mine (like go to school, not drink, etc) then she would
      need to move out at that time, get a job , drop out of school , (since she was
      failing and not going most of the time anyway )and live on her own by her own
      support and i would go to court to emancipate her at 16 with out any further
      guilt on my part.

      . I truly got tired of all her games and truly at that point
      I wanted her gone out of the house and away from my younger children- she was
      not a good role model for them. .

      after she realized I would cut her loose to
      go her own way, and not give in anymore to her tantrums and her trying to
      control, manipulate and destroy our family anymore she became more amenable ,
      seemed to mature and life became easier for us all. Its funny , but it seemed as
      if once she realized I would not play the game by HER rules anymore, and no
      longer felt guilty about her actions , she stopped all the bullcrap she had
      handed us for years. 16 is not a child anymore -they are almost adults.

      They are
      old enough to listen and reason with. There comes a time when they have to stop
      playing the spoiled child routine and take the consequences for their own
      actions and 16 is plenty old enough. The one rule I gave her is that if she did
      run away at any time, for whatever reason, then she was out on her own from that
      point on and I would NOT try to find her or attempt to ‘convince’ her to come
      back.

      I told her that running away is the crulest form of manipulation a child
      can do to a parent and I would never, ever forgive her for it- and I meant it.
      And I let her see I meant it.
      The good news is that she is now a sophmore in college , on a scholarship,
      working part time, lives in an apartment with a roommate, getting A’s and has
      turned her life around.

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