Budget101 Discussion List Archives Budget101 Discussion List I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO(LONG)

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      One of my five children was diagnosed as add with hyperactivity. he was the most strong willed difficult to manage child that i have ever seen. medication does help some as far as helping them to sit in a classroom situation all day.

      meds don’t really help the behavior problems and the they don’t cure the problem.
      here is the bottom line. the child has to conform to the family/ society whether he has a chemical imbalance or not. even if your family is willing to put up with the way they act, the rest of the world is not.
      we had many sessions with child behavior experts.

      here’s the deal: kids that don’t learn to get control of themselves very often grow up to have lives filled with divorces, getting fired from jobs and jail/ prison.
      so what can you do? be very hard on them when they don’t behave. i am talking military rigid tough love.

      you mess up, you suffer some negative consequenses. no exception! don’t misunderstand, i am not talking about spanking for every offense.

      negative consequenses can cover a wide range of things.no tv, go to bed early, no playing with friends, tons of extra chores etc etc etc
      the key is be consistant. they have to know that the ax is going to fall evey single time they misbehave. just like the military.

      if you screw up , punishment is swift and certain. if you let things slide even once, then you are back to square one.
      it takes a while, possibly several months but this does work. kids ( even the ones with chemical imbalances) can get control of themselves.

      it is not easy, it will be an unbelievable battle of the wills. far too many parents just give up and won’t lock into a extended battle.
      i just took the attitude -i would rather discipline him myself then have a police officer someday put a billyclub across his head.
      today he is a very selfcontrolled man in his late twenties. he has a degree in criminal justice.he went from child tyrant to mr upright citizen.

      he has been very sucessful ( promotions ect) in his career.

      original message
      from: Lucy Anderson
      To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2008 11:03 AM
      Subject: Re: Budget101.com : I dont know what to do(long)

      i’m not big on drugging kids, but even if you just get a medical explanation
      it can help you to deal with it mentally.

      and i have seen meds do wonders. my friend’s little brother was horrid
      until they got him on meds. trouble was, he grew up drug dependent and died
      in a drug/alcohol related accident.

      so, in the long run, it was not such a
      good choice. with my son, he did not sleep on the meds, did not eat, got
      skinny and sluggish and performed even worse in school.

      sometimes our brains are just wired differently. if you had a library, see
      if you can get “right brain, left brain” by jeffry freed (i might have the
      name spelled wrong). i swear i have adhd and it is not a disability – it is
      a gift because my brain processes differently.

      but it takes a different way
      of dealing.

      on wed, jul 9, 2008 at 12:37 PM, melinda irvin <moon_goddess129@yahoo.com>

      > At first glance you son appears to be the one doing the bullying instead
      > of the one being picked on. After reading more I have a few questions.

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Budget101 Discussion List Archives Budget101 Discussion List I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO(LONG)