- June 22, 2008 at 2:54 pm #258600
I’m going to swim against the current here. You can’t throw a child
out and I’m going to take your word for it that it wouldn’t set well
with family if you kick them out. So don’t.
but – if they are not working and contributing a fair share to the
household – then they have no say in how you run your household.
you and your wife need to sit down and decide on a budget, etc. if
this “visitor” has access to any of your charge cards, bank accounts,
etc. – remove them!
while you’re working on the new budget – work on a division of
household work too unless this is already working out.
once you have everything down on paper – you hold a “family meeting”
with everyone including kids present.
you state that you must get a handle on expenses, savings, time,
etc (your life, basically)
from this day on, this is your budget (you need not divulge the exact
budget you can merely say – you have a new budget in place with an
emphasis on savings) you can say something like the budget will be
strictly enforced for 3 or 6 months and then you’ll take a look at
how its working but for that amount of time there will be no buying
You can then outline household duties and throw in something fun –
like the first Saturday will be picnic day or movie day or just a fun
If your visitor protests – tell them you’re sorry but when they have
their own house they can make the rules – this is your house/life and
they’ll have to abide your rules while they live there.
In brief – treat them like a child which is what they are still –
they are a dependent under your roof – no matter the age – you are
supporting them, they live in your house – so your rules.
Maybe, just maybe, they won’t like it and will find another place to
live without your having to ask them to leave. Worth a shot!!
In the meantime – maybe you’ll get a handle on your finances & get
them where you want them. Good luck. KarenMO
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