hi and *sigh*

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      I lost the addy for who to ask if the email came through on html…
      so, if it is, let me know–I’m sorry. I’m technically part of a ‘household’
      where I was able to get in on some screennames on aol–which are
      paid by someone else…so, I’m on aol. I purposely never upgraded
      versions because I’ve always hated aol deciding on the ‘improvements’
      that I supposedly needed.

      Anyhow, I had to write. I hope this doesn’t sound totally stupid, but I’m
      pretty new here and I’ve been reading the posts and practically broke down in
      tears. My oldest son has left home, and is doing rather well, (after being
      homeschooled)
      and only he’s almost 17 years old.

      He’s doing well enough that he doesn’t
      have to be frugal, but is. I just wish I had known people or some outlet
      like this when he was little. I also have a 14 yo son who I still hs.
      I remember them being little, and deciding to stay at home, and going
      to the grocery store in my ‘jalopy’, and being embarrassed, because I
      was surrounded by women with jewelry, and salon nails, and on and on.
      I live in Silcon Valley, where excess seems to be the norm.

      I kept
      telling myself I was doing the right thing as I cleaned my counters with
      borax and rejoiced in the little moments with my sons. It was hard
      sometimes–and felt guilty that my kids didn’t have the latest toys or
      designer clothes.

      I’m a single mom now (been for years actually). I live next-door to my ex,
      so that my son can still be hsed. I lost my job, and don’t have a car right
      now….but, somehow, I’m going to make it go right.

      It’s just so different to
      know, for once, that I’m really not alone and the only one going through
      figuring out how to feed the kids for next-to-nothing. I’ve had the
      opportunity for ‘corporate jobs’ in the past, and my sons have both told me
      they were glad I stayed home. Now, with the economic situation being the way
      it is, I don’t have many choices.

      I’m a bit scared. There is no excess money,
      and there wasn’t when my kids were little–so i’m trying to remind myself that
      i made it through that. now, i read all your daily emails and i don’t feel
      alone
      in it all.

      can’t say how much that means.

      i am so sorry to ramble…i’m hormonal? honestly, though, i needed to just
      get all of this out. when i did work and made some decent money before
      i decided i needed to get my children out of school, the extra few dollars
      a week got saved up for a trip to china.

      that was the most rewarding thing
      i’ve done and broadened my viewpoint so much by talking with the people
      there. if (ok, when–gotta be positive) i get out of this financial morass,
      my son and i are going to use anyt for things like travel, and really
      enjoying life.
      we can live without the *stuff* that seem to be essentials here.

      thanks for all the inspiration, i think i’ll go cook up some laundry
      detergent!

      eil
      (actually, eileen, but have been eil forever in the ‘puter world)

      [non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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