Help me!

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    • #251945
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      Honestly- he’s probably not doing anything horrible with it, but at

      17 likely feels that it’s his money, and he’ll spend it if he wants.

      It’s a normal thing for a teen to go through.

      That aside, at some point- you have to let them flounder in order to

      teach them. It sounds harsh, it goes against what we feel is right,

      but how many teenagers actually do what we, as parents, say, the

      first time we say it, without learning that their way might NOT be

      best?

      Teens are stubborn. While we know that our own mistakes taught us

      how to do things right, and we want to pass that knowledge on, it

      can often lead to more stubbornness- especially in a tempetous

      relationship such as you and your son already have.

      Yelling at him, taking stuff away, and telling him what NOT to do

      only makes them want to do it more.

      While your first gut reaction is to take away money he has in his

      savings, it might just trigger further anger, and widen the gap in

      your relationship.

      It might be best if you and your ex-husband try to talk out a good

      way of dealing with it calmly. Losing your anger with him, yelling

      at him, it isn’t making things get through to him, and only causes

      further anger.

      Frugality aside- this is a problem with learning to relate to your

      son, not teaching him how to save his money.

      If he’s behind in his insurance, pull the plates from his vehicle

      until he gives you the money to catch it up. If you think he might

      still drive it, take the battery out.

      If he pays up his debt with you, reinstate it. If he continues to

      not pay it, or it gets worse, or he incures further debts, then

      think about selling the car- IF you bought it. If HE bought it, it’s

      his property, not yours.

      — In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, “Anggie Thompson”

      wrote:

      >

      > I just found out that my 17 year old took a lot of money out of

      his savings

      > account over a week’s time. I am so furious that I am beyond

      words. This

      > child has not deposited a paycheck in two months, so that money

      plus the

      > money he took out of his savings account is totally unaccounted

      for. He owes

      > me for car insurance. We had an issue two weeks ago about the use

      of the car

      > and we almost sold the car because of his attitude and totally

      disobeying

      > the “car use” rules. He and I are just alike with our tempers and

      I tend to

      > yell and get mad at him a lot because he won’t follow the rules.

      I have

      > just moved his savings money (what’s left of it) to an account

      that he does

      > not have access to thru his ATM. I know I can’t make him save

      money or

      > give me his paycheck for me to split it to deposit into savings &

      checking.

      > He is just like his dad (we’re divorced, wonder why?) when it

      comes to

      > money. You’d think he’d learn my frugal ways, as I do not spend

      money

      > frivolously. Any tips on how to teach him how to budget?

      > I am very concerned because I don’t have the money to send him all

      the way

      > through college and at the rate he’s going, he won’t have any

      money to

      > contribute to his education or living expenses. Am I a bad parent

      if I make

      > him pay for the first year of community college, then if he can do

      that

      > responsibly, I’ll pick up what I can for him to transfer to a

      university?

      >

      > —

      > Anggie

      > Fight Breast cancer……no one should die from it

      >

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