I, too, suffer from that. My daughter gave me an “ouchie” brush from WalMart made by Goody. They have different types for different hair–curly, fine, thick, etc.
It made a lot of difference. What also helps is a mega wide tooth comb I got from my beautician. I’m sure they’re available in the stores. I still wince but it is better. I used to wet the brush when I did my daughter’s hair who had long pony tails.
It helped some. Good luck. I sympathize with both you and your daughters. Louise