Frustrated!

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      Jennifer

      I feel for you. I can only speculate what I would do if I were in your

      situation.

      Please keep in mind as you read this, that this just my opinion and I don’t

      want to cause any arguments here.

      If making enough money is the biggest problem – I would tackle that first.

      Make a simple list of money coming in and money going out. Ask him for any

      ideas he has for getting these to match. Tell him you already work X amount

      of hours as well as care for the kids and house, so you working more is not

      an option. See what he comes up with. Maybe he can work in his business,

      but take on a part time job somewhere else. The SBA should be able to offer

      him advice as I’m sure the internet is a great source of information also.

      I downloaded a free program called Microsoft Office Accounting Express 2007.

      It is wonderful. I use it for our family budget as well as for the crafts I

      do on the side as an extra source of income. That might help with the

      business aspect of it.

      We recently went to an envelope system for paying our bills. When the money

      is gone, it’s gone. I might try this, and when you start getting calls I

      would make him talk to them. Maybe he’ll get the idea without you actually

      nagging him. We’ve learned to take care of the four walls first – food,

      house, utilities, transportation. Then everything else. Doing them in the

      order listed will make for much less stress in your home.

      As far as the house being cleaned goes. I wouldn’t kill myself to do it.

      If you continue to do everything he’ll most likely let you. If he sees you

      can’t do it all – maybe he’ll step up to the plate and help you out.

      If all else fails I would seek counseling, even if he refused to go with me

      I would still go by myself.

      Sorry I got so long winded. Again, keep in mind that this is only my

      opinion and I’ve not walked in your shoes. I have a very supportive husband

      who works 2 jobs so that I can stay home and take care of our 3 boys, the

      house, and our finances. He also helps out in the house anytime he sees

      things that need done. He’ll even offer to wash the dishes or whatever even

      after working.

      Hugs!

      Karen

      .
      Original Message
      .

      From: “Jennifer Huff” <gjhuff44@earthlink.net>

      To: “Budget 101” <Budget101_@yahoogroups.com>

      Sent: Monday, April 09, 2007 2:16 PM

      Subject: Budget101.com : Frustrated!

      >I haven’t posted in awhile, but have been reading the posts and

      > getting good ideas for saving money. My frustration seems so petty,

      > but it is driving me crazy. I am 36, have a DH and DD6 and DD9. When

      > my husband got out of the regular Army after the Gulf war, he spent 6

      > years trying college, working at McDonalds and then a restaurant with

      > me completely supporting us. He finally settled on carpentry and

      > worked for a couple of different people over several years. In 2002

      > he decided to start his own carpentry business and we have been

      > struggling, borrowing, etc as he is trying to make it on his own. I

      > work 20 hrs per week in a very physical job and work for medical

      > benefits for the family. There are weeks when I have worked 40hrs

      > (covering for co-workers) and I am exhausted by the end of the week.

      > In addition, the house looks like bomb went off in it. My husband

      > doesn’t do much around the house(mostly dishes, mowing lawn or

      > shoveling) and occasional other stuff if I beg him. I can live with

      > this if I am only working 20hrs, but not if I have to work 40 hrs. I

      > keep trying to get him to work for someone else as he is not earning

      > enough to make ends meet, but then I get the guilt trip, “Ok, so you

      > are going to make me give up my dream. I know I am a failure.” He is

      > a great carpenter, but a lousy businessman. We never seem to make

      > enough money. I guess I feel like I supported us for 6 yrs, hell,

      > only one year in 15 did he make more money than me (me part-time, him

      > full-time) and I don’t feel like I should have to do the same thing

      > now, especially since I take care of the children most of the time

      > and do 90% of the housework! Am I being petty or should I give him a

      > swift kick in the butt to get a job with someone else? I have tried

      > use my extra time at home to help his business, but I’m not the most

      > business inclined person either. I don’t know how to organize the

      > bills/paperwork for his small business and we can’t afford to hire

      > someone. I have a hard enough time organizing the family bills/

      > papers. Any suggestions?

      > Jennifer

      >

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