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      Jennifer :

      Some good advice coming in for you already, especially

      stuff about figuring out the current budget and such.

      It does sound like he is rather sensitive, and I can

      relate — my DH is like that as well. Sometimes they

      just take everything you say personally, and even

      though you’re trying to look at the big picture they

      simply think you’re nagging them and calling them a

      failure, or blaming them. So sometimes it falls down

      to HOW you discuss it. Perhaps if you set aside some

      time, and sat down and addressed in a way of “I’d

      really like to see your business succeed as much as it

      can, and I want to help you with that. What can I do,

      or what can we do together to make that happen?”

      Maybe it would open up the door to discussing what

      needs to happen with it, where the shortcomings are.

      I know as soon as you start talking about “We need to

      pay the bills …” “The money needs to come in better

      …” it seems everyone gets on the defensive. Perhaps

      if you approach it in a different way like this, it

      may actually allow for a proactive conversation to

      happen. And you can then make suggestions like

      finding an organization or support group that can help

      him put together this business, people he can talk to

      that have done it and can give advice, etc.

      If, despite your efforts to be positive and

      constructive, the conversation still degenerates into

      him feeling bad and saying you don’t support him, or

      that he’s a failure, etc. … well then you probably

      are going to have to get tough on him and just put

      your foot down that your family and its future is

      riding on this, and that is the most important thing,

      like it or not.

      I hope you can work it out — like I said, I know how

      it is to talk to someone who just seems to take most

      things as a personal attack!




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