- August 13, 2007 at 3:05 pm #242231Kristin wrote:I can tell you from experience, she believes she either can’t do any better, or that she deserves to be treated this way.
Prayer was the only thing that got me out. Just let her know she has somewhere to run to when she is ready to go. A lot of times it is a sudden spur of the moment thought, and if she has somewhere to go, it may be easier for her to go.
Also, be prepared, have the number for your local Center Against Sexual and Domestic Violence. They offer free counseling and a lot of times those who have been abused won’t talk to family about it.
This is exactly the issue. I also speak from experience. She has no idea the world that?s waiting for her when she pulls herself out of this, with your support waiting for her at the end of it.
So much good advice, I?m really glad to see it.
I can?t disagree with any of it.
Keep your negative opinions quiet, however, begin encouraging her to make steps to improve herself without comparing her to other children, cousins, your friends? children etc.
If she isn?t in school discuss an interest she might build into a career, such as nursing which is in such high demand she could have school entirely paid for. Or shorter programs in the healthcare or technical fields.
Her confidence needs building. No amount of telling her she?s better than she?s allowing herself to be is going to change anything. She has to prove it to herself.
Compliment her on anything and everything she does *by herself* without mentioning anyone else. No ?see, you don?t need him for ____?.
Positive reinforcement, just like when she was a potty-training tyke.
Back away, but be there. I love the idea of inviting them to do things. How well do you know this gentleman?
It is possible *he* doesn?t know what a positive loving relationship even looks like. Be an example, not a warden.
Keeping in contact with her will enable you to show your support of her as well as enable you to keep an eye on her physically. If you feel she is TRULY in danger, do not hesitate to contact the police.
Keeping you in my thoughts.
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