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      MARIA: Recently we were at the public pool,and my son saw this boy who

      was clearly younger then him,and smaller in height as well…. The kid

      was sitting with his feet in the pool and my son pushed him in

      RIA: 4 of 5 of my kids are special needs, behavior, medical and even

      MR etc etc so I am not picking on you or your son ..

      regardless of his social skills or lack of them – reality is he was

      the bully at the pool .. he should have apologized to the young boy.

      If needed you could verbally cued him to do so

      As for the other kid – what if his swimming skills were not that good?

      or non existent?

      Chances are since it was out of the blue he also swallowed some water

      .. Personally when my kids were little at the pool, they would be in

      so much trouble for being wet (it means they were in the pool without

      my supervision)

      Don’t assume the little boy didn’t have some special needs himself.

      Even though he did hit back it doesn’t make it even in a kid’s mind ..

      their thinking is: I wasn’t doing anything and a BIGGER/OLDER stranger

      came up pushed me in the pool

      remind him how it feels to get picked on .. would he feel better if he

      got an apology from the kids that pick on him? then so would the

      little boy

      Poor social skills means more work for you. Unfortunately it means you

      have to prep him BEFORE you are in public…. before you get out of

      the car a reminder … examples: “son, today we are going to the park”

      ” we are bringing a ball, do not throw it at people” “ask if they want

      to play” “what are the rules? no pushing shoving”

      It also means you have to be the ‘nag’ where are you going? do you

      know those kids? what do you need to say to them first? .. if he does

      know them (be aware sometimes its just they think they recognize them

      from somewhere) what are their names? where did you meet them? are

      these the kids that were picking on you? (many times our kids will

      still want to play with them)

      How is he for transistioning? My middle one was horrible on any changes

      This summer check with the library for book club, any nature clubs in

      area? Try to get him into some small groups that you can ‘volunteer’

      as a helper (even if in another area). Usually small groups are

      better- you can verbally cue before you leave, & before you leave the

      car. Try a sing song type rule list.

      It stinks but unfortunately kids pick on anyone different, and

      EVERYONE is different at some point, but our kids are different

      most/all the time .. As they age out, it gets worse.

      I honestly think the idea of mainstreaming is not the best, as our

      kids do not present their best (especially all day) if they only were

      mainstreamed for subjects they were good in, it would help. My second

      son (34) was the last kid who had the old style special ed .. He did

      not mainstream for math till he was able to do it – he knew it was a

      real accomplishment .. Matt, middle kid (now 22) did the whole

      mainstream except for certain classes – it was horrible .. they took

      him out of science to do math, sent him back during reg math (so he

      missed science), took him out of history for reading and lang arts

      (again he missed hist)

      I started my kids early on skills that their peers did not have.. So

      they learned to use tools and made bird feeders, bird houses etc for

      the classroom .. They cooked early so they could bring in a meal that

      had to do with what country they were studying in history. My dd is

      MR (mentally retarded) but she learned to use tools by age 6 (nothing

      fancy at that point but still more than the average 6 yr old), by 8

      she could with help cook special meals or goodies for the classroom.

      Any physical skills? My 2nd son was one heck of a runner so that

      became his skill for getting more friends, they were all in track. I

      did the track mom bit and brought first aid kit, water, gloves in

      early spring (it was cold), etc etc .. Once I got pregnant with #5 it

      did mean I had to cut back but by then he was pretty tight with the

      whole group.

      There are all kinds of materials for free online (or write me direct

      at HSLINKS@aol.com) .. if he learns astronomy and you are outside

      checking out stars this is a skill for later in science and also for

      nature club .. ditto bird identification

      Can you adopt a corner or flower box in area? This way he can learn

      about plants, but more importantly people passing by see him doing

      ‘good’.. those that walk usually comment in a positive manner (very

      important for our kids) .. Many elders are lonesome and love to chat,

      he is learning social skills even though its not with kids

      Boys today don’t get a chance to work with their hands .. I was lucky

      because our backyard became the place kids could build bikes, make

      forts etc etc ..If they didn’t know how to fix their bikes I showed

      them how, if they wanted to build then I had the tools etc. It was

      messy and the one neighbor would call codes every so often, but the

      kids knew if they wanted to play in the yard – they had to follow the

      rules.

      Ria

      list owner of :

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