Bachelor’s diet

[Tarrien]

The Bachelor’s Diet

Monday

Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth. Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents.

Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of Maalox. Afternoon Snack – Drink the Maalox. Dinner – Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece Dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.

Tuesday

Breakfast – Eat the coleslaw. Lunch – Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. Dinner – Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.

Wednesday

Breakfast – Stomach couldn’t handle breakfast after a night at El Flasho’s. Lunch – Rolaids and a coke. Dinner – Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps.

Thursday

Breakfast – Order out for pizza. Lunch – Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers. Dinner – Go to a bar.

Ask the bartender for extra olives.

Friday

Breakfast – Eggs, sausage and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it’s better for you.

Lunch – Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder. Dinner – Steak, medium-rare, baked potato and asparagus. Don’t eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

Saturday

Breakfast – Sleep through it. Lunch – Ditto. Dinner – Steak, well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts.

Don’t eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

Sunday

Breakfast – Three Bloody Mary’s and a Twinkie. Lunch – Eat Lunch? And waste a good buzz?

Dinner – Chicken noodle soup. Call home and ask about renting your old room

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