attitude

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      Attitude is a funny thing, everyone. I tried for the longest time to
      get people to hear the frustration of the moderation staff to no
      avail. Last night, I wrote a post and begged people to hear, and this
      morning I feel like I suddenly turned into the bad guy for having
      lost my temper after feeling this frustration for an unconscienably
      long time.

      There’s a saying. “The customer is always right.” But there’s a
      problem with that saying in the case of any list because I’m as much
      a customer as everyone else is here, and everyone here is getting that
      “service” or “information” or whatever else you want to call it for
      free.

      For what it’s worth, I’m in the midst of a divorce after five years
      of being a single mom struggling to get on her feet after my kids and
      I were left homeless and abandoned after many years of the most
      unthinkable abuses (abuses I’d begged others who could help, to hear)
      to which he finally confessed to authorities in another state. So if
      my grousing about feeling ignored for the more subtle messages I had
      originally been posting at the bottom of the posts came across as a
      frustrated tantrum, I’m truly sorry. There is truly wisdom in that
      old native American saying, “Never judge a (wo)man till you’ve walked
      a mile in his/her moccasins.”

      For over two years, my children and I survived on a $50 a month food
      budget because I was determined never to go on welfare again. I
      admit, therefore, to getting frustrated a great deal of the time here
      and there; but in all honesty, the last two months have been far
      better than before. I’ve finally been able to increase our food
      budget to more reasonable boundaries.

      I’ve been doing the best I can as a moderator on this list, and I
      would imagine that on any list of this size, one just can’t expect to
      please all of the people all of the time. As it happens, the
      decision to request people to snip their posts came on the heels of a
      notification from Yahoo that the list was at its peak and that Yahoo
      was going to start deleting files if we didn’t. I worked feverishly
      for several days to drop those files down just so control over the
      files remained with Liss and not with Yahoo. I’m devoted
      to Liss, and I wouldn’t hurt her for the world. My presence at this
      time, however, seems to be causing a problem. I was responsible this
      morning for at least one person–a newcomer to the list–deciding to
      unsubscribe from the list.

      As a result, while I’m not unsubbing, I am taking a major break. I
      don’t need to feel like the bad guy in my effort to do the right
      thing. That I’ve offended anyone is simply not part of my intention
      to do, not ever. But whether or not anyone here has misjudged my
      intentions may not be the question. Yes, I was angry earlier. Now
      I’m simply left with some deep wounds and I’m fighting back the tears.

      I’ll be back at some point. Again, I’m not unsubbing, but I’m not
      going to take any active role on the list for a while.

      Michelle
      Budget101_ moderator and Ethnic Inexpensively columnist

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