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  1. #1
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    Paw Help needed......procrastination

    Help, Does anyone have any advise on procrastinators?? My kids are drving me nuts!! I ask them, leave them notes and voice messages for them to do something but it isnt does - so when I ask - well they tell me that they wanted to do it "later". They eventually do it but I am getting a headache - asking so much. 75% of the time they do it right away but that 25% is getting to me. Any ideas??
    Tragedy, sadness, loneliness and despair taught me that life is really a beautiful thing; if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to recognize that anything was wrong - Lynn in Virginia

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  3. #2
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    Lynn,
    what are the ages of your children? Mine are 19, 12, 9, and 6. For the younger three I use a money reward system-if they can do something without me asking they get money for things like putting shoes away, making their beds. If I have to tell them to do something by the third time I tell them they owe me. As for the 19 year old forget that, he would lose his head if it was not attached some days.

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  5. #3
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    LOL, I am laughing about your 19 year old!! I have a 19 year old daughter who will be 20 in December. She works and goes to college - but we are setting ground rules for her. pitch in or help. She is trying but she does it at the last minute when I ask and it is driving me bonkers. I have a 17 year old son who is legally blind and he works at the local library after school to make money for himself, he helps alot but he will be in the room with his sisters and I call him - well it takes 10 - 15 minutes before he answers me and I feel as though I am about to lose my voice. Then there is the baby. She is 15 and daddys girl. She is a 3.8 GPA student who will be a CNA but the end of this year. (The school has a tech center that she has attended for three years now) I have to ask her 5 - 10 times to do something and she says she will - but its usually a day later....or she will bribe he brother to do it. She baby sits the neighbors kids two nights a week so she makes money for herself too. My husband and I work from 7 am to 7 pm and I have a part time job at night to help when his business slows down (like now) what do you think??

    Thanks Kim !!!!



    Lynn
    Tragedy, sadness, loneliness and despair taught me that life is really a beautiful thing; if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to recognize that anything was wrong - Lynn in Virginia

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  7. #4
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    PROCRASTINATORS ? Now are we all having fun yet ? Doesn't every family have one of those? I know my family has one and he is 23. He is so slow moving-till it's something he doesn't mind doing. Oh yes I grew up with 5 brothers and there was one there too. lolll They are both named Michael too ---How funny is that. Since the boys are older now there is a family joke about this.

    One thing I used when he was younger was, when things aren't done that you expect done use the take away closet=what you find is yours and it goes into the closet until they can earn it back. Also taking sometime away as a punishment if something isn't done.

    And my husband used the 3 strikes u are out method -but they only got 2 strikes. He gave the boys the second chance believing they might not have heard him the first time..


    Believe me it does get better. It only takes us now just looking at him. And that is very rarely. Good luck Everyone!!! Just have to find the method that works best for your family. Hope this helps.
    JoAnn
    "Joy is not in things. It is within us"

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  9. #5
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    I have a 16 yr old that is a big procrastinator. The only thing that I have found that works with him is to first ask him to do whatever it is you want him to do. I give him a reasonable amount of time to complete the task. If he doesn't do it, I don't ask a second time, I order him to do it NOW! He moans and groans about it, but he gets a chance to be responsible first and then there is no option.

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  11. #6
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    LMAO, I grew up with 6 brothers and 5 sisters and we all pitched in. Never would I have thought that my kids would be slackers. LOL. I do the three strikes - but then my kids really only the basics - I take the games away - then they read. I take away - TV privledges - they read. No outside fun - They read. I even tell them no social events - they read. LOL - I love having book worms but they have learned to tone me out sometimes I think. So my husband is helping me too. He is the more stick one anyway and I am hoping that he will instill them with a little eagerness to "help Mom" a little faster. This give me head aches and I end up like my friend - "if you want it done right you will have to do it yourself".

    I hope it does get better, I really hope also that I dont end up with them still living at home when they are 40.

    Michael - something in the name huh? Good luck to you too dear friend!!

    Lynn

    Tragedy, sadness, loneliness and despair taught me that life is really a beautiful thing; if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to recognize that anything was wrong - Lynn in Virginia

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    I don't really have a procrastinator, since she is only 3, but I will ask her over and over again. Arsenal will you pick up your blocks please. She says ok, sometimes she will hold up her finger and say just a minute mommy. But she will not pick them up until I say ok help mommy pick up the blocks and then she will pick them up. I used to use the 123 method but everytime I would say 1 she would say 23 and run, so I am trying to think of something else to use with her. any ideas would be appreciated, she is much more strong willed than my other children.
    Mdowdy

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  15. #8
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    My kids are 20,19 & 14 I don't "ask" them to do anything. I tell them, "this needs to be done" and I let them know when it needs to be done by. Laundry doesn't get into the laundry room, guess you're washing your own clothes. Litter box doesn't get cleaned out and I notice it at 10pm, guess you're getting outta bed to do it. Dishwasher doesnt get emptied, same thing.. outta bed sleepy head. When it continues, they start loosing things, computer time, phone, television, school dance...whatever it is. The thing that means the most to them, whether it's their books, phone, friends, doesn't really matter. I would tell my kids "I'm not here to be your friend, that will come later. I'm trying to teach you something now. You don't have to like me at this moment but you will respect me and do as I say and that is that! There is no bargaining, I'm am the parent you are the child"

    When they were younger and I would tell them they needed to tidy up their rooms, I would let them know I wanted it done by a certain time, usually it would be Sunday evening. I would let them know on Friday, they had plenty of time to get things done. If it wasn't, when they came home from school on Monday, their room was bare except for bed and dresser. They had to earn back their things.

    As for the notion that I could do it better myself, well yeah we can do it better ourselves. We've been doing it alot longer. They will never learn how to do it if they don't actually do it. So choose your battles. If you ask them to fold the towels, as long as the towels get folded don't gripe about it. Same with the socks and hanging things up in their closets learn tis one the hard way and it started with my DH. I would moan and groan to him, "you never help me, why?" His comment, well I'm not as perfect as you are and you're just gonna hover over me telling me I'm doing it wrong so why bother. Ouch that stung. So from then on, I shut my mouth and things started getting done more. I think without even realizing, sometimes we send our kids(and Partners) we ask/tell them to do something and then we go right behind them and fix what they did or all together do it ourselves because... we want it done right!!! So we're saying,do it but ya know what, never mind cause your just gonna screw it up so just do it myself.

    Sorry guys don't mean to sound preechy about this or judgemental. Just trying to say you from some of the headache I had to deal with before I wised up! Just my opinion and what happened to work for me and my family.

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