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  1. #1
    Charlene Ada Willoughby
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.


    The sprint bills are for local and long distance on the cell phone.
    We have the all local and long distance unlimited calls so if they loose their phones, I won't have to pay $$$.

    The qwest bills are for local and long distance on the land line.
    The qwest bill includes the internet fee for DSL. Also our internet service charges us another $15 a month I didn't add in.

    I had to have qwest because sometimes she turns her cell phone
    off when she's at home and I can't get ahold of her, or we can't find our cell phone so we have to use the land line to call the cell.
    Also, we need long distance on the land line so we can fax. Anyone that has found a solution to these problems, I'd like to hear them. We both pay for the land line and cell phone as we both use it.

    I tried Majicjack but it's not in our area yet but I'll check again. I just cut alot of stuff off our qwest line so next month it will be $41.

    Lucy, things change in life, you must be youngor don't have 3
    children to raise on your own. Yes I did pay all her expenses until she turned 18, BUT I got custody of my 16 yr old ds just
    a couple months ago and he eats us out of house and home.
    Plus I had to get a bigger home as 2 bedrooms wouldn't work
    for an 11 yr old ds, 18 yr old dd, and 16 yr old ds. Now we
    have a 3 bedroom and have to use the family room as a bedroom too. Also, 18 yrs isn't a kid anymore. I never thought I'd have
    to charge my daughter but unfortunately, things have changed.
    And when child support kicks in for the 16 ds, maybe I won't have to charge her so much. Don't forget, the VA usu. pays $226 to help me raise her. Putting money in a fund for them such as you did, well, I'm an disability. I simply don't have it. I can not get
    a 401K as I'm not working. Don't forget I have no husband or ex to to help. For me to put 30% into things like you have, I would have

    to sell the car and take the bus. I can't do that because I have to pick the kids up when they are in trouble like being followed, stranded, take the kids to Montana for the visit with their dad, etc.
    And the court order says I have to go 1/2 way and pay my own gas. By the way, my 16 ds hasn't started work since he's moved in. He's still getting settled in.

    Char





  2. #2
    Lucy Anderson
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.

    No, I don't have 3 children to raise, I have 5. 1 out of the house = 6

    total. I have a husband now, but that is only for the last two years.

    Prior to this I was single or married to someone who did not support me in

    any way. Am I young? I will always be young....



    I'm not sure why your 18 year old daughter should have to suddenly fork over

    rent to support a 16 year old brother? I know he has to eat, don't disagree

    with that at all, and if she WANTS to help that's awesome. But making her

    help could cause a little resentment?



    Housing can be tough - we started out a couple years ago with 4 adults and 5

    children in a 3 bedroom - creative sleeping arrangements were us!!!



    I did not speak of you getting a 401K or anything, but your daughter who IS

    working and drawing a check needs to have one. And she can. And if your

    daughter is paying rent to you - that is the money that I would put in the

    fund. Not your money, but hers....



    As far as the 10% tithe, 10% save, and etc for you - you can't afford NOT to

    do this from my experience. But that is a whole 'nother topic.



    As far as feeding the 16 year old - yes they eat a lot. My teen boys are

    limited in what they eat (no eating because they are bored, or just because

    it tastes good). Good healthy food is far more filling and less expensive I

    have found. Water is a GREAT beverage. If they want more than what I can

    afford, they have to get it themselves. When they started wasting food,

    then I made them share in the food budget. I told them I would buy food for

    me (and the girls) and enough for dinners for all of us. It would cost me

    $xxx. I had $xxx left. I gave them the money, took them to the store and

    let them get their food for breakfast, lunch and snack. If they ate all

    their snack on Monday, then Tuesday-Sunday looked pretty sad. They didn't

    die.... But next Monday, you can bet they were smarter with their food

    money. (Well, one of them was...) I would not expect a 16 year old to hold

    down a job at this point, but there are usually chores or some small thing

    they can find to do that will bring in $$$. You'd be amazed how creative

    they can get.



    As far as transporting kids to Montana - these kids are plenty big enough to

    pop onto Greyhound to go visit dad. So, if you wanted to drop the car, you

    could, if that is the main reason for it.



    On Fri, Aug 8, 2008 at 11:55 AM, Charlene Ada Willoughby <

    adanaturkey8385@webband.com> wrote:



    >

    >

    > Lucy, things change in life, you must be young or don't have 3

    > children to raise on your own . Yes I did pay all her expenses until she

    > turned 18, BUT I got custody of my 16 yr old ds just

    > a couple months ago and he eats us out of house and home.






  3. #3
    Shannon
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.


    If you need the line to fax, then I don't see why your daughter would be required to pay a portion of it. Additionally, most cell phones have free long distance, so if you manage the minutes right (most providers allow you to freely cheque your minutes per month so you know where you are), you could drop some fees there, too.

    I agree that the 18yr old shouldn't be paying just because the 16 yr old came into the picture. That's going to come back to bite - maybe not today or tomorrow, but sometime.

    I personally think that "equally" dividing amounts out is a little over the top. If she's pursuing school to better herself and she's living at home - well, there are a lot worse situations. I agree with the member who posted maybe a $50 or $75 rent - if you "need" money to make the bills (she still is family) then maybe take half or less than half to put towards the household/food expenses because of the new 16 yr old, but put the other half (without telling her) in an interest bearing savings account. Let it grow and then when she finishes school, she's got a "starter". It might take some of the sting out of being made to pay.

    Just my thoughts.
    ~S

    [quote]
    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Charlene Ada Willoughby
    I had to have qwest because sometimes she turns her cell phone
    off when she's at home and I can't get ahold of her, or we can't find our cell phone so we have to use the land line to call the cell.
    Also, we need long distance on the land line so we can fax. Anyone that has found a solution to these problems, I'd like to hear them. We both pay for the land line and cell phone as we both use it.

    I tried Majicjack but it's not in our area yet but I'll check again. I just cut alot of stuff off our qwest line so next month it will be $41.



  4. #4
    Ria
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.

    I understand and sympathize with your predicament. I hope that you will receive some advice on ways that you can make ends meet without having to put your daughter in a financial predicament.

    ----- Original Message ----
    From: Charlene Ada Willoughby <adanaturkey8385@webband.com>
    To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com
    Sent: Friday, August 8, 2008 2:55:34 PM
    Subject: Budget101.com : Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.






    <font size="2" face="Arial">The sprint bills are for local and long distance on the cell phone.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">We have the all local and long distance unlimited calls so if they loose their phones, I won't have to pay $$$.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">
    <font size="2" face="Arial">The qwest bills are for local and long distance on the land line.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">The qwest bill includes the internet fee for DSL. Also our internet service charges us another $15 a month I didn't add in.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">
    <font size="2" face="Arial">I had to have qwest because sometimes she turns her cell phone
    <font size="2" face="Arial">off when she's at home and I can't get ahold of her, or we can't find our cell phone so we have to use the land line to call the cell.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">Also, we need long distance on the land line so we can fax. Anyone that has found a solution to these problems, I'd like to hear them. We both pay for the land line and cell phone as we both use it.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">
    <font size="2" face="Arial">I tried Majicjack but it's not in our area yet but I'll check again. I just cut alot of stuff off our qwest line so next month it will be $41.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">
    <font size="2" face="Arial">Lucy, things change in life, you must be youngor don't have 3
    <font size="2" face="Arial">children to raise on your own. Yes I did pay all her expenses until she turned 18, BUT I got custody of my 16 yr old ds just
    <font size="2" face="Arial">a couple months ago and he eats us out of house and home.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">Plus I had to get a bigger home as 2 bedrooms wouldn't work
    <font size="2" face="Arial">for an 11 yr old ds, 18 yr old dd, and 16 yr old ds. Now we
    <font size="2" face="Arial">have a 3 bedroom and have to use the family room as a bedroom too. Also, 18 yrs isn't a kid anymore. I never thought I'd have
    <font size="2" face="Arial">to charge my daughter but unfortunately, things have changed.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">And when child support kicks in for the 16 ds, maybe I won't have to charge her so much. Don't forget, the VA usu. pays $226 to help me raise her. Putting money in a fund for them such as you did, well, I'm an disability. I simply don't have it. I can not get
    <font size="2" face="Arial">a 401K as I'm not working. Don't forget I have no husband or ex to to help. For me to put 30% into things like you have, I would have
    <font size="2" face="Arial">to sell the car and take the bus. I can't do that because I have to pick the kids up when they are in trouble like being followed, stranded, take the kids to Montana for the visit with their dad, etc.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">And the court order says I have to go 1/2 way and pay my own gas. By the way, my 16 ds hasn't started work since he's moved in. He's still getting settled in.
    <font size="2" face="Arial">
    <font size="2" face="Arial">Char
    <font size="2" face="Arial">
    <font size="2" face="Arial">





  5. #5
    Lucy Anderson
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.

    Wondering why you fax? Do you have a home business that requires it? How

    much does the business bring in? Most average people do not find it a

    necessity to fax from home?



    We do not keep a landline because we simply cannot afford it. I recently

    cut us down to two cell phones - my husband's and mine - and mine is paid

    for by my job, or I would cut it further. Eating comes far ahead of cell

    phones. I can see wanting a phone for 911. Past that, it becomes a

    luxury.



    Same for a car. You mentioned that you use the car to bail the kids out -

    you did not mention getting yourself to work or shopping.... If it is being

    used simply to rescue the kids from "being followed" or such... introduce

    them to the bus. That is a HUGE savings - which you can use to feed them.



    As far as charging your daughter, it was a very good idea - ask her what she

    thinks... She is a semi-adult. Let her in on EXACTLY how much money comes

    into the family home each month and what you have budgeted for each thing.

    Let her voice an opinion on where the money should go and where she would

    like to help out, if she wants to. Rent - sure.... But not if you approach

    it with "You need to start paying for groceries so I can feed your

    brother." Let her give if she wants to.... Otherwise you are opening a can

    of possible resentment.



    Lucy






  6. #6
    Thomas & Tracy Harris
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.


    if there is a bus, not all areas have public transportation

    Thomas & Tracy Harris
    TNT Quarter Horses home of:
    TNTS Jack Be Blue - 2004 AQHA Buckskin Stallion
    TNTS Medicine Man - 2005 AQHA Perlino Stallion

    [quote]
    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Lucy Anderson
    To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com
    Sent: Saturday, August 09, 2008 2:19 AM
    Subject: Re: Budget101.com : Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.



    Same for a car. You mentioned that you use the car to bail the kids out -
    you did not mention getting yourself to work or shopping.... If it is being
    used simply to rescue the kids from "being followed" or such... introduce
    them to the bus. That is a HUGE savings - which you can use to feed them.





  7. #7
    Suzi McMullen
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.


    Yup...911 is kinda important. Imagine my mother has a heart attack while I'm goneand one of the 3 year olds dials 911. We can teach them about 911, but most wouldn't remember our address.

    Suzi
    [quote]
    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Lucy Anderson
    To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com
    Sent: Saturday, August 09, 2008 1:19 AM
    Subject: Re: Budget101.com : Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.





    Wondering why you fax? Do you have a home business that requires it? How
    much does the business bring in? Most average people do not find it a
    necessity to fax from home?

    We do not keep a landline because we simply cannot afford it. I recently
    cut us down to two cell phones - my husband's and mine - and mine is paid
    for by my job, or I would cut it further. Eating comes far ahead of cell
    phones. I can see wanting a phone for 911. Past that, it becomes a
    luxury.

    Same for a car. You mentioned that you use the car to bail the kids out -
    you did not mention getting yourself to work or shopping.... If it is being
    used simply to rescue the kids from "being followed" or such... introduce
    them to the bus. That is a HUGE savings - which you can use to feed them.

    As far as charging your daughter, it was a very good idea - ask her what she
    thinks... She is a semi-adult. Let her in on EXACTLY how much money comes
    into the family home each month and what you have budgeted for each thing.
    Let her voice an opinion on where the money should go and where she would
    like to help out, if she wants to. Rent - sure.... But not if you approach
    it with "You need to start paying for groceries so I can feed your
    brother." Let her give if she wants to.... Otherwise you are opening a can
    of possible resentment.

    Lucy




  8. #8
    Jan Bonilla
    Guest

    Default Attn: Lucy, charging my 18 yr old.

    I was in a car accident in 2006 and due to insurance and Doctors I had

    to do TONS of faxes. I am extremely cheap and I don't like to pay for

    what I don't have to. I did a search on Google and found a place

    where you can do faxes online for free. It is a limited amount and

    just so many attachments or pages. Yet they do have a plan where you

    can pay more for further faxes. Then you could pay that small charge

    and you have internet which means you have a computer so you either

    have a printer scanner or don't. Either way it will be cheaper for

    you to use that service and buy a printer scanner and drop the

    landline.



    As for your daughter turning her phone off or miss placing it, you can

    simply put your foot down on that and get that to stop right away.

    Explain if she wants to pay for the landline she can or she can keep

    her phone turned on thats entirely up to her. Yet you are not paying

    for the landline anymore.



    As far as her paying bills because of her brother. NO!!!!! You will

    put a large rift between you and your daughter!!! Then she will start

    to resent and HATE her brother. You may not think that this will

    happen, yet it WILL happen!! That is not fair to anyone especially

    their relationship for the future.



    Jan...



    On 8/8/08, Charlene Ada Willoughby <adanaturkey8385@webband.com> wrote:

    > The sprint bills are for local and long distance on the cell phone.

    > We have the all local and long distance unlimited calls so if they loose

    > their phones, I won't have to pay $$$.






 

 
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