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  1. #1
    Deal GURU
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    Heart Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    Hi,

    Is anyone else caring for elderly parents?

    You would be amazed at the number of free assists available that make life easier. Everything from knowing how to register information online so that if an ambulance is called to your elderly parents home, medical records, health history, contact numbers, prescriptions and advance directives are made known to emergency medical personnel to daily organization and making sure meds are taken correctly.

    My two sisters, my brother and I use a home organization website to coordinate medical appointments, shopping lists, coverage schedules (we rotate care so that no single sibling is burdened), and an online journal to keep one another up to date on what is happening.

    We care for my father who is 89 and his older sister who is 93. Both wish to live in their own homes, so we are trying to honor their wishes to the best of our ability. None of us live in the same state as they do.

    We have learned so much that we would like to pass on, but there is so much more we need to learn and this site has been a real Godsend for helping us afford to do this.


    How many other people are caring for elderly parents? What are your biggest challenges? What do you need help with? What are little tricks and tips you have learned to use to make the process smoother?

    Please share your thoughts, so that we can learn from one-another! jrodgers

  2. #2
    Budget101 Done Digging
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    Default Re: Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    I have older parents, but not to the point they need help. I do live very close to them so if they need anything I can be there in minutes. I do however, think I will be in this position within 10 years.

    I know in Indiana, the State health insurance (Medicaid) does have some resources that can help the elderly out. it usually takes just a phone call to the state.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    My mother passed away in 1999 (she is deeply missed by all), and I am the sole caregiver for my 83 year old Dad -- even though I have 3 other siblings (they do not want anything to do with him, even though I am POSITIVE they will come out of the woodwork like roaches once he passes).

    It's a struggle -- making sure he takes his meds, arguing with him to go get seen when he isn't feeling well or something hurts, financially he is broke and relies on us to help him with his bills and all groceries...which makes us hurt a little bit more (we are 1.5 incomes here--I am part time). DH, DD and I are Culinary students, so in college full time, and DH works full time.

    His house is paid off, and he wants to move to an apartment -- so we are looking to put that house on the market, and buy a duplex in our city, so that he can be closer to us and have a smaller space than he presently has in the middle of nowhere.

    Somehow we manage -- we talk daily (sometimes more), and we are over to his house at least 2x a week, and I grocery shop/cook for him 3 - 5 times per week (in addition to work and school schedules)...

    I wish my siblings pitched in sometimes, but then other times, I am glad that I don't have to deal with their whiney butts.
    Only in the United States is it permissible to sell food without the labeling of Genetically Modified Organisms. This needs to stop, we DESERVE to know what is in our food!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    you just really need one more thing on your plate, don't you? My husband was his dad's sole care taker when he passed at the age of 49. the other kids weren't around until dad died. I met my husband 2 weeks before his dad passed. so I wasn't much help. he was also in school full time. I know a little of how stressful it was for him. his dad wasn't sick for long, so it didn't have a huge financial impact.

    I pray that you can find some time for yourself to have some calmness in your day.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    I think you just learn to adjust to the hecticness -- I know that I have (sort of) -- the financial burden, notsomuch...I really resent my siblings -- I have written all of them off, and have "adopted" some instead (I can always use another sibling LOL). In writing off the blood ones, I also managed to write off their offspring, which means any gifts they get for whatever the occasion, won't be coming out of my money (hidden blessing -- since the youngest sibling has 12 children of her own and one on the way).

    I do have some time to myself -- I take time to walk through (surprisingly enough) the floral department at Meijers and study the plants / flowers and remember God put me here for a reason...

    I do long for summer though -- bike riding, swimming, botanical gardens, kayaking, hiking, etc. (it's peaceful)
    Only in the United States is it permissible to sell food without the labeling of Genetically Modified Organisms. This needs to stop, we DESERVE to know what is in our food!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    my escapes are my books. no matter how hectic life gets I always try to read at least an hour before bed. I am glad that you have hobbies that you can get out and do to keep you young.

  7. #7
    Deal GURU
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    Default Re: Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    You would be surprised how many people don't know what resources are available to elders and their family's who are caring for them. I know what is available in California (I live there) but my Dad is in Kentucky and we are still in the discovery process.

    We are trying to sign him up for ADA Senior curb to curb transit, and have been denied (it is in appeal) My Dad is deaf and has low vision so he can't drive to the nearest bus stop, yet that is the option that is offered. His next door neighbor, who is 20 years younger and a driver uses the service all of the time. This is just one of the many challenges to elder care in his area.

    We had a sitter service (in spite of Dad's recent stroke and disabilities he still does most things for himself - a sitter is there for safety). The sitter service's employees were not trained in CPR or first aid and although they were delightful people, they did little for the huge sum of money they charged. Kentucky has only recently begun to regulate senior in home services so this is a new process for everyone.

    We have now invested in an emergency alert button that will signal someone in the event of a fall - it uses a desk top transmitter that relies on the client falling within earshot of the receiver otherwise there can be no communication between the response team and my Dad. Yesterday, the alert button fell off the bed while Dad was changing clothes, luckily I was there, because he had no clue that they had even responded.

    Does anyone have experience with the different alert buttons? I've seen ratings online, but they appear to be contrived for advertising purposes, so I'm not sure if the ratings are pure fabrications or really mean something. Can you share your experiences with these.

    After purchasing an alert button, apparently my Dad's name got in the system along with his phone number which seems to have been purchased by telemarketers who are calling incessantly. We have only had the phone and button for less than a month. Elderly people are often considered soft targets for groups soliciting donations and since the donations are taken over the phone and there is no third party verification, there is no proof that the senior's stated donation is the donation that was intended. Mostly these are scams that try to get bank account information or credit card information. They may offer "free" senior services or independent living aids (alert buttons, glucose meters etc)

    One of the huge problems with the elderly is that they lack a sense of taste or smell, so they are prone to food poisoning due to leftovers or saved food. A solutions is senior meals services, but these are limited and although the local government may have some investment, the major cost falls of non-profits, churches, and volunteer donations.

    Often seniors are disoriented about the date and time - especially true if they have hearing or vision problems - because they can't read a paper easily and very often they are isolated at home. A few churches have a seniors support ministry who will visit or make calls to seniors on a regular basis to help them stay oriented and make sure they are okay. This makes a world of difference.

    My siblings and I trade off and as a group we are discovering all sorts of services that are free of charge that help assure that Dad's wishes, his medical records, and all of his contact information is readily available to emergency response personnel. I'll see if I can post some of these on the freebies page, but it would be great to have a mini forum where they are all in one place. JRodgers

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    Default Re: Would "Parent Care" be a possible topic? Knowing where to find services & save

    Just an idea, you might want to call an alarm company like Brinks or ADP. I know where I worked they had sensors throughout the building and no matter where you were the alarm company could turn them on and hear what was going on. they monitored for machine alarms. they could hear movement if someone broke in or if we set the alarm off accidently we could tell the alarm company who we were. they would put the director on the phone and she could listen in too and she could tell the alarm company that we were to be there or no we weren't. I know our alarm company here at my house offers many different type of panic buttons. the also have security cameras and security lights that can flash to show an alarm has been set off. I know some of these services can be expensive, but try to talk them down. We were able to get our bill cut in half just by asking.

 

 
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