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  1. #1
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    Default stay at home moms do you pay yourself an allowance

    Hi I was wondering if anyone else does like dr phil has advised for
    couples no matter what you each can have a set amount of money that
    neither spouse can question. I was wondering if anyone does this or
    do you just spend whatever. I always felt like all the money was his
    or for bills and I never had a dollar in my pocket. But the draw back
    now is he gets 25 a week and I take either the same or less depends.
    I always pay the bills first since he gets paid weekly than put money
    into savings (pay our selves second) and than he gets his 25 and I
    get my whatever but my problems seems to be his 25 is getting earlier
    and earlier where he is getting more than just his 25 and mine if I
    have any goes to milk, bread or whatever we might run low during the
    week or if the kids want a pack of gum or something stupid and little
    I comes out of my money. I know this is petty but I'm starting to
    feel alittle unworthy since I dont even drink milk but they all do
    and I'm putting my little bit into that.
    I'm not trying to be a maryter and I know it is only how people treat

    me is how I let them and maybe this is a totally other problem but
    Ilike to know that we are saving more and I know he works hard but I
    dont want to feel nickle and dimed but i am. Is this why my
    grandmother and mom used to have mad money as they called it for just
    themselves. I dont do this but thinking maybe I should. what does
    anyone else think of this?
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  2. #2
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    Re: Budget101.com : stay at home moms do you pay yourself an allowance


    We each have a small allowence that works out to $50/mth. I take mine in cash and he has his put into paypal since he buys most of his "toys" online. But I also have about $50/mth in a separate envelope in my purse for odds and ends. It could be a quick milk run, it could Burger King or a candy bar for the kids or whatever. There are a lot of months I barely touch it and I don't add to it then on payday, or add just enough to bring it back to $50.

    My kids get an allowence so I try to make them pay for candy or what not when we are out (sometimes they reimburse me when we get home if they didn't have their money on them).

    As for your hubby, two things come to mind. Either what he gets truly isn't enough and he needs a raise in fun money (maybe you do too), or - if its affecting your budget negatively - you need to sit down and agree that that money is IT until next payday. My hubby doesn't buy lunch or gas or anything like that with his money - its strictly for fun like books, CD's, his hobbies etc. - as is mine. Our budget has a separate line item for lunch at work, gas, and the like. We also have a line item of solo entertainment so that if a buddy of his wants to go out one evening, he has money and I can do the same with a friend of mine. It only happens every two months or so, so we just stockpile cash until one of us goes out without the other. Make sense?

    HTH's a little,
    Monica in IL
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  3. #3
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    Re: Budget101.com : stay at home moms do you pay yourself an allowance


    I've been married for 25 yrs and I have been at home with kids for 20 yrs. My husband always cashed the checks and took lump sum of cash. He gives me $40. for 2 weeks for running to the store, kids, school etc. He keeps the rest for similar stuff. The difference is $160. He never has any leftover money and I don't know where he spends it. He is home at the same time ea day and we do errens together, but I still can't help but wonder how I can make it on $40. and he has $160. and never has leftover. I do have mad money that I put aside when I have leftover. On days when I had enough of it, I go the the grocery store purchase what I need and get some cash for myself and I'm happy. I agree with you about feeling less worthy. But I look at it that we can't always have 50% on everything, so some the things that happen I look the other way. But other things are more important so I put my foot down on that. Life is not fair sometimes. Good luck to you.

    Melissa
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  4. #4
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    Hi I was wondering if anyone else does like dr phil has advised for
    couples no matter what you each can have a set amount of money that
    neither spouse can question. I was wondering if anyone does this or
    do you just spend whatever. I always felt like all the money was his
    or for bills and I never had a dollar in my pocket. But the draw back
    now is he gets 25 a week and I take either the same or less depends.
    I always pay the bills first since he gets paid weekly than put money
    into savings (pay our selves second) and than he gets his 25 and I
    get my whatever but my problems seems to be his 25 is getting earlier
    and earlier where he is getting more than just his 25 and mine if I
    have any goes to milk, bread or whatever we might run low during the
    week or if the kids want a pack of gum or something stupid and little
    I comes out of my money. I know this is petty but I'm starting to
    feel alittle unworthy since I dont even drink milk but they all do
    and I'm putting my little bit into that.
    I'm not trying to be a maryter and I know it is only how people treat

    me is how I let them and maybe this is a totally other problem but
    Ilike to know that we are saving more and I know he works hard but I
    dont want to feel nickle and dimed but i am. Is this why my
    grandmother and mom used to have mad money as they called it for just
    themselves. I dont do this but thinking maybe I should. what does
    anyone else think of this?
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    All of my posts were transferred from
    the budget101 Discussion list
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~

  5. #5
    Deal GURU
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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: stay at home moms do you pay yourself an allowance


    I'm a SAHM and when I need something I get it aslong
    as we have the money. We pay our bills first, get
    groceries and I make sure that my kids have what they
    need. They always come first (before my husband and
    I).
    We have done things this way for over 30 yrs. I never
    had a problem.

    Marian
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  6. #6
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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: stay at home moms do you pay yourself an allowance


    This is my thinking also. We don't have an allowance for the same reason. I'm
    more of a saver and he is a spender. If I save most of my money and we need
    something extra I end up paying for it. So for that reason we stoped the
    allowance thing a long time ago, and we get what we need together. I can't do
    the finances (writing checks and paying bills) due to my double vision (meaning
    I see double - wouldn't it be nice when I see double the money in the account it
    would be trully double the amount LOL). But what I need to do is sit with him
    when he is doing the bills and make sure it is done better. We can surly use
    BIG help with our finances.

    Mili
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  7. #7
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    Re: stay at home moms do you pay yourself an allowance


    --- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, "Marine MOM" <suckleh0nny@...>
    wrote:
    >
    > Hi I was wondering if anyone else does like dr phil has advised for
    > couples no matter what you each can have a set amount of money that
    > neither spouse can question. I was wondering if anyone does this or
    > do you just spend whatever. I always felt like all the money was
    his
    > or for bills and I never had a dollar in my pocket. But the draw
    back
    > now is he gets 25 a week and I take either the same or less
    depends.
    > I always pay the bills first since he gets paid weekly than put
    money
    > into savings (pay our selves second) and than he gets his 25 and I
    > get my whatever but my problems seems to be his 25 is getting
    earlier
    > and earlier where he is getting more than just his 25 and mine if I
    > have any goes to milk, bread or whatever we might run low during
    the
    > week or if the kids want a pack of gum or something stupid and
    little
    > I comes out of my money. I know this is petty but I'm starting to
    > feel alittle unworthy since I dont even drink milk but they all do
    > and I'm putting my little bit into that.
    > I'm not trying to be a maryter and I know it is only how people
    treat
    > me is how I let them and maybe this is a totally other problem but
    > Ilike to know that we are saving more and I know he works hard but
    I
    > dont want to feel nickle and dimed but i am. Is this why my
    > grandmother and mom used to have mad money as they called it for
    just
    > themselves. I dont do this but thinking maybe I should. what does
    > anyone else think of this?
    >
    I think you should feel okay about what you spend, if I could get my
    man to spend only $25 a week, I'd be very happy. He does not listen
    to me about sales, coupons, or saving. And he buys food without
    giving me money for items we already have. I buy all the household
    groceries and some other things, like his deoderant, soap, shampoo,
    toilet paper, and all I ask him to do is listen to sound advice about
    being frugal. Don't make mistake after mistake and spend frivilous
    and squander our money!! He wants to argue, good thing we are not
    married and have no kids, I can walk away anytime. I might unless
    things change. Everything I do is for him, and he asks me how much he
    should spend on valentines day, I said whatever the last fifteen
    years are worth.
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  8. #8
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    Re: stay at home moms do you pay yourself an allowance


    Go for it.
    You can even add up the cost of everything you do as a housewife and charge him.... the housekeeping, chauffering, the accountant, etc.....
    I work FT and am a single parent, but I don't ever remember my mom going without - she was a housewife. Also, if she did without, so did my dad. He took a lunch to work, every day.
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