In defense of chore based allowance . . .

In defense of chore based allowance . . .

Now I realize everyone has different opinions on this, so please lets not fight as I am only stating my personal opinion. But as I am reading all the negativity towards chore-based allowence, and comments about "creating kids who will only clean for money", I feel compelled to respond. We firmly

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  1. #1
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    Default In defense of chore based allowance . . .

    Now I realize everyone has different opinions on this, so please lets not fight as I am only stating my personal opinion. But as I am reading all the negativity towards chore-based allowence, and comments about "creating kids who will only clean for money", I feel compelled to respond.

    We firmly believe in paying kids an allowence, and yes it's chore based. Here is our reasoning: EVERYONE in the family works for money. Dad goes out to his job, I pay bills/do major household cleaning/manage the menus/play chauffeur etc., and the kids keep their stuff tidy, care for the pets, help with family chores and go to school. Everyone in our house does their part - everyone gets a piece of the family money.

    I think that children need to realize that in the real world money doesn't fall off trees and no one is just going to hand them money because their cute. You work - you earn money. Period. A young, pre-16yr old cannot get a real job so they need to learn work ethic around the home by doing chores. If they get done, they get paid. If they don't, no money. Not even when all their friends are going to the movies. Not even if they are the only one not buying a souvenier at Disney. No work, no money.

    An allowence tied to work gives a sense of accomplishment. It is tangible as in "I do A I get B". It becomes a decision that they are responsible for and I am a HUGE advocate of personal responsibility. An allowence that is given "just because" has no deeper meaning to a child, requires no personal responsibility, and often times gives children the impression that they are somehow deserving just for "being". Likewise, no set allowence at all and just being given money anytime they want to buy something teaches no lesson either and fosters no concept of the value of money.

    Frankly, I really think it would be a rarity for a kid to only clean for money when they grow up just because they received an allowence to do it as kids. A child who grows up, moves out on his/her own, and says "Gosh, no one is going to pay me to keep my house clean so I won't do it" has WAY more immaturity issues than just having been given an allowence.

    It makes my kids at 6 & 9 crazy to have messy rooms because they are used to living in a tidy space that was encouraged by the chore/allowence system. And if I ask my kids to unstack the dishes, they have never once asked if I would give them extra money for doing it. It would never cross their minds any more than it would cross my mind to charge them for doing their laundry.

    Both girls already have a very basic written budget as to what they want to do with their money as far as spending, saving and giving. My 9yr old is already thinking car, my little one wants to go to a waterpark as long term goals. They have money set aside for family birthday gifts. They bring their money to church on Sundays and carry around little wallets at Christmas when the bell ringers are out.

    So please, before you automatically pooh-pooh chore-based allowence and stereo typing it as parents creating children who will only clean for money, please remember that there are many, many benefits to this type of allowence, whether or not it is right for your own family.

    Monica in IL

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    Re: Budget101.com : In defense of chore based allowence...


    Sounds like you are doing a great job with your kids!!! Kudos to you and your husband!!

  3. #3
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    Re:In defense of chore based allowence...


    Wow, Monica. Sounds like you are going to have to very well rounded girls that will grow up with a great deal of values in life. I myself have 2 daughters (9 & 2). I tried to do the whole allowance thing for a while and didn't tie it to chores (because of the feedback I had gotten that it was the wrong thing to do). Well, it has been a disaster. My 9 yr. old has grown up thinking she really doesn't have any responsibility as part of the family unit and just "expects" her allowance each week. She is one of those children that ask "how much will you pay me" if she's asked to do something (even clean her room). It then turns into a power struggle. DH & I decided that we weren't teaching her any life lessons using this method so we are in the process of changing years of bad habits. We bought her a bank that tracks her spending money, savings & giving. She has always made sure she brought her money to church each week and always gives more than her 10%. She is a very kind, loving, child of God but has no concept of working for what you want. Which is how our world operates (we aren't rich), weather it be working for someone, having your own business, missions, etc. It's the whole saving part (for things she wants) that is the challenge. She just thinks "mom or dad will buy it". We will do it different w/ our 2 yr. old. I know there are many opinions in this area and this is just mine. But we did it one way w/ our oldest and it hasn't worked so what do we have to loose trying it a different way the second time around. I applaud you for speaking up and sharing your story, it has further inspired me to stick to our commitment to change.

    Thanks,
    Kristina

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    Re: In defense of chore based allowence...


    You are doing such a great job! May I ask.. at what age did you start?
    I know of some parents who start young with a poker chip system and a
    chart, X amount of chips = a trip to the movies etc..

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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: In defense of chore based allowence...


    Hi. Thanks for the compliment.

    I started my girls on chore based allowence sometime between 2.5 & 3yrs. About the time they started to notice those candy machines in the front of the grocery stores I gave them a quarter everytime they picked up their toys without an argument and a little purse to keep them in. Then, if they were very good in the grocery store and they had enough quarters, they could get something on the way out. The best was places like Walmart that mechanical rides! Boy, I could shop for hours if they knew they'd get that LOL!

    Seriously, though, the key at that age was paying them daily because they would totally forget what they had or hadn't done at the end of the week. Instant gratification so to speak.

    Have a great day!
    Monica in IL

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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: In defense of chore based allowence...


    I agree with you, to a point. The one thing kids should not get paid for is
    cleaning their own rooms. You don't get paid for cleaning your own house, do
    you? Kids need to learn early that there are some things they need to be
    responsible for with no compensation and that there are some things they can do
    to earn money.



    I'm not 30...


    I'm 29.99 + shipping

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    >>You don't get paid for cleaning your own house, do you? <<

    I sure do get paid for cleaning my own house! I am a SAHM. I clean the house, take care of the kids, pay the bills, plan the menus etc. That IS my job. And for doing MY JOB, I get my piece of the family money each and every paycheck. If I sat around like a slug all day and didn't do my job, I wouldn't be deserving of the family money.

    My kids JOB at 6 & 9 is to keep their stuff picked up (in and out of their room), the pets cared for, the trash taken out, dishes, and to do their best in school. For doing their JOB, they get their piece of the family money. Even if they start working as teens, if they want their piece of our money, they will need to continue to keep their stuff tidy and other chores complete.

    They are taught that ALL JOBS, both in and out of the house, are valuable and necessary to the running of a family and that by doing them they get their fair share of family money.

    Monica

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    Re: Budget101.com : Re: In defense of chore based allowence...


    We can go on and on about chores and to or not to get money for it. I have read all of the e-mails that were sent and we all agree to disagree about this topic. We come from different walks of life with different ideas how we raise our children. I for one never believed in paying for chores neither did my mom. If they did something nice and it was hard work and time consuming I did give them money. They also, like myself, using family money have received items that were not a part of a holiday or b-day gift. If we were out shopping and they sew something that was on sale and wanted it, not needed it and we had extra cash for it we bought it for them. What I have noticed that children will use the allowance on useless things just because it is their money. So what is ok with one might not be ok with another person. So lets just stop at that and mabi pick another subject.

    Thank you,
    Melissa

 

 

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