Budget101.com divorce advice?

<FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son. <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">He was ameniable and agreeable about doing things yesterday but flipped back last night after speaking to his mother. He is threatening criminal abandonment

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  1. #1
    Elizabeth Farnsworth
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    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?


    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son.
    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">He was ameniable and agreeable about doing things yesterday but flipped back last night after speaking to his mother. He is threatening criminal abandonment charges, North Carolina states that it's a no fault divorce state but yet his lawyer tried in 4 counties to get the judges to sign over custody of their son without the wife even being present as they are in California. 4 judges refused! It seems that no lawyer can help her because she hasn't lived in California long enough yet!???? Her husband has been verbally and mentally abusive to her as have his family, in particular his mother. He tells her that she's going to give their son to husbands mother and this before divorce ever was spoke of. Once. the in laws came to visit gchild and whileBIL was in the house distracting the mom the mil was taking gson out to the car and they were blocking mom in the house, in other words they were trying to steal gson! Without mothers consent and she'd told them no you cannot take him over 30 times, my other daughter was a witness to this. They all tell her she's a bad mother etc and that they are going to take gson. Now husband is threatening again to come and take son and press criminal charges against wife and there are no criminal actions. Oh not to mention that they've got several bank accounts that have 40 grand each in them....did he put her name on them? no....did he dispose of them so she cannot have a claim to them......yes,,,,more than likely hidden in mommy dearest's name somewhere.....wife left husband entire contents of home, both vehicles, all bank accounts and income taxes. His lawyer says she took money and so she wont' get child support for 40 months. They have a lot of nice expensive things in their home. He's told her all these years that she's fat and things would be ok if she goes to the gym and loses weight....she has a thyroid condition and he started on her about being 10lbs overweight right out of the hospital after their son was born and even after she said she wanted a divorce he begged her to come back and said you could go to the gym and lose weight and bla bla still thinking of himself and his way, his conditions, his terms. She does not want this marriage but said tho he's been a shitty abusive husband to me he's been a good father to their son and she is willing to let him see their son anytime he has time off from the military and it doesn't interfear with sons schooling. He is threatening her to take their child away and I dont' think he has grounds to stand on but she is so afraid and distrought about losing her son.
    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">Does anyone know what we can do legally to get them to stop threatening to press unfounded charges and get a restraining order against him and his family for now until they decide to be human....it's highly likely that they'd steal the son. Last time I checked it wasn't a crime to leave your husband or your home...criminal abandonment.....? what the is that! There has got to be something she can do either with lawyer here in California or a lawyer in North Carolina without having to travel back and forth on money she does not have. I'm worried at this point that they'd remove him from school and kidnap him....there must be something we can do to protect against that????? any idea for help?
    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">Oh and don't bother saying to ask the military because they do not do jac k squat to help a wife even when criminal charges are pressed against one fo their military men and you wonder why north carolina has the highest abuse rate and murdered women............. I know this first hand because my son in law molested my grandson and the miltary has not done shit about it! I think maybe the press needs to be brought in or something.
    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">
    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">HELP.......
    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">
    Elizabeth Farnsworth

    Boost Your Immune System Naturally



  2. #2
    armstrca
    Guest

    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?



    <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt;COLOR: teal;FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS';">Have her get a lawyer.
    <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt;COLOR: teal;FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS';">They will put a TRO (Temp Restraining Order) against the DH (and if she requests it the grandparents, also).<SPAN> But she will need to file for divorce.
    <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt;COLOR: teal;FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS';">



    From: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Budget101_@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Elizabeth Farnsworth
    Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 8:57 AM
    To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com
    Subject: Budget101.com : Budget101.com divorce advice?

    #8000ff;FONT-FAMILY: Georgia;">My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son. <SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt;COLOR: #8000ff;FONT-FAMILY: Georgia;">He was ameniable and agreeable about doing things yesterday but flipped back last night after speaking to his mother. He is threatening criminal abandonment charges,



  3. #3
    Tracie
    Guest

    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?

    First - calm down - my ex threatened me right and left when my kids were young,

    so did his parents - they did nothing



    She is in CA? Get a restraining order - the police will NOT do anything unless

    there is a restraining order - neither will the schools - the restraining order

    MUST be on file at the school - once this has been done - she can demand the

    school to have a teacher stand with the child until they are picked up by her

    only - if the school does not do this and something happens she can sue them



    If the husband shows up to take the child at any place she can call the police -

    she must carry that restraining order with her - show the officer and the

    husband can be arrested, especially if he does it numerous times.



    Have her go to legal aide - Baloney that a CA lawyer can't help her cause she

    hasn't lived there long enough - heck get those lawyers ID's and report them to

    the bar for that crap -



    She CANNOT bar him from visitation unless she goes to court and has in state

    monitored visitation instated but there are a lot of legal things that needs to

    happen before that will be considered. CA is the most liberal state when it

    comes to parents rights - I know first hand with the child support system BUT if

    she can prove abuse than CA can be the most fiercest.



    Unfortunately, and I know from experience from the threats and violence, NOTHING

    will be done to the person making the threats UNTIL they do something - crazy

    law but it protects the criminal before it protects the victim.



    Oh and there are NO Grandparents rights - tell the grandparents to pound sand!

    My ex's parents tried some crap and the courts laughed them out of the courtroom

    - grandparents have no legal rights to the grandchildren while the parents are

    alive and one objects.



    Because of all the crap my ex's grandparents said and pulled my children have

    not seen them in over 10 years - now that one of my children is a legal adult I

    can't stop her from searching for her father or his family and I won't object,

    she's an adult and can do what she wants - as for my 16 yr old she won't do

    anything until she is over 18 - I can object and refuse to let her - but luckily

    my kids have no interest in it

    ----- Original Message -----

    From: Elizabeth Farnsworth

    To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com

    Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 7:56 AM

    Subject: Budget101.com : Budget101.com divorce advice?







    My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son.

    He was ameniable and agreeable about doing things yesterday but flipped back

    last night after speaking to his mother.






  4. #4
    Kathy Anderson
    Guest

    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?

    Possession is 9/10's of the Law. Does your daughter have actual Physical

    custody of the child right now?

    Does her husband know exactly where she is at?

    Can you help out financially at all?

    If it were me, I would first have her try and get either a lawyer who will

    work Pro Bono for her (they do exist) or try to get a Lawyer from Legal Aid and

    see if she can get a Temporary Custody Order put in place and then try and

    proceed with a Divorce using the same lawyer.

    She could also see about getting herself and the child into a Woman's Safe

    Shelter. They will also have resources that might help her. On the molestation

    accusation...is there any documented proof from any doctor in any state where

    she has been? She needs to gather that up and keep it safe with her and any

    other proof of abuse to her or the child.

    Forewarned is forearmed.

    If I can help out anymore, just contact me and I will see what else I can find

    out which might help her.

    Good Luck !!!!

    Kathy



    Elizabeth Farnsworth <1_nation_under_god@comcast.net> wrote:

    My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son.

    He was ameniable and agreeable about doing things yesterday but flipped back

    last night after speaking to his mother.






  5. #5
    Tonya P
    Guest

    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?

    I do not have any help to give, I am sorry, but I do understand what you

    mean about the military, and it is here in Maryland too. My sister was

    physically abused by her military (now ex) husband and they brushed it under

    the rug, even when the police were called they were on HIS side not hers. It

    is discusting. Good luck.



    On 2/1/08, Elizabeth Farnsworth <1_nation_under_god@comcast.net> wrote:

    >

    > My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son.






  6. #6
    me ow
    Guest

    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?

    Your daughter should also call her local Women Against

    Abuse hotline. They often have information about pro

    bono attorneys that may be able to to help. If your

    daughter files for divorce she should know that the

    cost of attorney managed cases are extremely expensive

    and the more she and her spouse contest areas of the

    divorce the more the cost will be. If they can

    negotiate some type of mediation which is often 75%

    below cost of attorney managed divorce both will make

    out better. Your daughter and her husband may want to

    have some give and take over certain areas of their

    divorce such as custody of the child. They may want

    to have joint custody. In areas of divorce usually

    couples fight over property and child custody. In

    most states property is 50-50. When my brother and

    sister in law divorced they had a real divorce "smack

    down". It financially ruined them both. And the

    children start to take sides because the parents are

    so angry at each other. Have your daughter go to

    conseling. It canonly help and try to stay as neutral

    as possible. Just remember, at one time you daughter

    and son in law loved each other. When the

    grandparents take sides, most if not all of the time,

    the divorce is that much worst and more costly.









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  7. #7
    mem68
    Guest

    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?


    Are they divorced?What state did they get divorced in?Did he get visitation rights w the son?She should mk sure at the school that no one can pick him up except her or someone she has appointed. Is he paying her child support?
    I think you can put a restraining order against anyone who you fear but please ck w/ someone in that state. It does not cost to get a consultation from a lawyer.
    Is she living w/ another male?
    Does she have a will -saying who is to get son if something happpens to her etc.
    Good luck.
    [quote]
    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Elizabeth Farnsworth
    To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com
    Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 9:56 AM
    Subject: Budget101.com : Budget101.com divorce advice?


    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son.
    <FONT face="Georgia" color="#8000ff">He was ameniable and agreeable about doing things yesterday but flipped back last night after speaking to his mother. He is threatening criminal abandonment charges,



  8. #8
    sandy miller
    Guest

    Default Budget101.com divorce advice?

    First things first-she needs to seek out a good attorney that can get dirty if he needs to.She needs a restraining order if she feels threatened.She does need to let the school know of certain people that can pick up the child and the certain people that can not be allowed to leave the school without that child.IF they are divorced and the ex has visitation rights,she can request that the visits are monitored by a third individual that she feels comfy in knowing will not allow him to say anything wrong to the child or leave with the child.She needs to make sure to watch the child for any signs that he is having a hard time with everything that is going on and if he does then she needs to make sure he sees a health counselor so that he can get his feelings out about everything.IF they are not divorced she needs to get something going on that as soon as possible before he does and make sure she is told when he is to be served so that she has that child in her possession at
    the time because most times whomever has the child at the time is the one to keep the child until the court grants judgement.She MUST keep a journal and any copies of letters,etc. that the hubby sends her so that when she goews to court she can have the judge read everything.It will help her case out if she were to do this.If the hubby has visits she must make sure to check the child over when he returns and if there are any marks showing that were not there before he left,she must take pics so these can be enterred as evidence of her fears.

    mem68 <mildreda@lcs.net> wrote: <font face="Arial" size="2">Are they divorced?What state did they get divorced in?Did he get visitation rights w the son?She should mk sure at the school that no one can pick him up except her or someone she has appointed. Is he paying her child support? <font face="Arial" size="2">I think you can put a restraining order against anyone who you fear but please ck w/ someone in that state. It does not cost to get a consultation from a lawyer. <font face="Arial" size="2">Is she living w/ another male? <font face="Arial" size="2">Does she have a will -saying who is to get son if something happpens to her etc. <font face="Arial" size="2">Good luck. <blockquote style="border-left: 2px solid rgb(0, 0, 0);"> <div style="font-family: arial;font-style: normal;font-variant: normal;font-weight: normal;font-size: 10pt;font-size-adjust: none;font-stretch: normal;">----- Original Message ----- <div style="font-family: arial;font-style: normal;font-variant: normal;font-weight: normal;font-size: 10pt;font-size-adjust: none;font-stretch: normal;">From: Elizabeth Farnsworth <div style="font-family: arial;font-style: normal;font-variant: normal;font-weight: normal;font-size: 10pt;font-size-adjust: none;font-stretch: normal;">To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com <div style="font-family: arial;font-style: normal;font-variant: normal;font-weight: normal;font-size: 10pt;font-size-adjust: none;font-stretch: normal;">Sent: Friday, February 01, 2008 9:56 AM <div style="font-family: arial;font-style: normal;font-variant: normal;font-weight: normal;font-size: 10pt;font-size-adjust: none;font-stretch: normal;">Subject: Budget101.com : Budget101.com divorce advice?
    <font color="#8000ff" face="Georgia">My aquired daughter left her husband, they have a 5 yr old son. <font color="#8000ff" face="Georgia">He was ameniable and agreeable about doing things yesterday but flipped back last night after speaking to his mother. He is threatening criminal abandonment charges, [/quote] [/quote]


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