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  1. #1
    pseuzanne
    Guest

    Default Dating on a budget

    As I re-enter the world of dating (anyone with experience on

    eHarmony.com?), I find myself with some questions related to money.

    First of all, I don't know what to expect in terms of who will pay for

    dates. I'm 37, so guys my age could either be traditional and expect to

    pay for everything, or more "progressive" and be expecting to go dutch.

    How do you navigate through this? For example, I don't have the money

    to go to the theater, but if someone wanted to treat me, I would

    certainly enjoy it.



    Also, due to being a single mom and a student, I very rarely go out

    with my friends for an adults-only evening. Most of my time spent

    socializing is with our kids in tow, or the occasional phone call after

    kids have gone to bed. My parents may be able to babysit once in

    awhile, but their schedules are pretty busy. Paying for a babysitter

    isn't something I can do on a regular basis either.



    Any thoughts on how to do this dating thing with limited time and

    resources?



    Suzanne








  2. #2
    armstrca
    Guest

    Default Dating on a budget

    <DIV dir="ltr" align="left"><SPAN class="261030917-10092007">The guy will pay. Even in this equal or progressive time.
    <DIV dir="ltr" align="left"><SPAN class="261030917-10092007">They may want you to suggest a place close to you to meet up. Choose a decent restaurant or a sports bar (not a biker hangout <grin>) - or better yet, choose a couple of places and let him pick one. Some place in public, when if it doesn't work out, you can both go your separate ways easily (and even if it does work out for just only one and the other doesn't know about it).
    <DIV dir="ltr" align="left"><SPAN class="261030917-10092007">A theatre would not be a 1st date (or even a 3rd date) option (unless the guy was heavily into the theatre). Most dates are to a restaurant, sports bar or movie (don't select a romantic movie - more of an action/adventure one)
    <DIV dir="ltr" align="left"><SPAN class="261030917-10092007">How old is your kid(s)? Is it an option to leave them alone with a speed dial to your cell? Give specific instructions they cannot leave the house or a list of friends houses they can go to. Or, can they spend the night (make sure most or the dates are one the weekend). I am also a single parent. I am 48 (gosh I'm getting old) with a 12 yo son.
    <DIV dir="ltr" align="left"><SPAN class="261030917-10092007">You def need to figure out what to do with your kid(s). They cannot and should not go with you. Is there other single parents close by? Can you take turns watching each other's kids?







    From: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Budget101_@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of pseuzanne
    Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 10:59 AM
    To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com
    Subject: Budget101.com : Dating on a budget<SPAN class="261030917-10092007">
    <SPAN class="261030917-10092007">
    As I re-enter the world of dating, I find myself with some questions related to money.<SPAN class="261030917-10092007"> First of all, I don't know what to expect in terms of who will pay for dates.
    How do you navigate through this? For example, I don't have the money to go to the theater, but if someone wanted to treat me, I would certainly enjoy it.
    Any thoughts on how to do this dating thing with limited time and resources?

    Suzanne



  3. #3
    Suzanne Fesmire Gibbons
    Guest

    Default Dating on a budget

    My daughter is just two years old, so she needs a

    babysitter. I don't know other single moms in my area.



    Join this group to find out about local deals and bargains:

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/frugalinmassachusetts/











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  4. #4
    Elizabeth Head
    Guest

    Default Dating on a budget

    Suzanne -- I can sympathize with your situation. I was divorced when my children were 3 1/2 and 5. I did not have any family nearby to watch the kids and felt guilty leaving them with a sitter so I could go out because they were in day care while I worked to support us. My big concern was who paid for the babysitter? Was it a "cost" of the date or what? To further complicate matters money was tight and therefore needed for necessities, not dating/entertainment and many perspective dates were not accepting of the fact that I had more than 1 child. I am happily remarried now (after nearly 10 years on my own)so things obviously worked out fine. In my experience lunch dates worked out great in the beginning, dating when my ex had weekend visitationsor occasionally letting a church friend/familystep up to the plate to watch the kids for special
    dates/occasions. I would bake somethingnice for whoever at church helped out as a thank you and when that got out I had additional families offer to take a turn. As far as dating while my kids were with my ex, I learned not to mention it or he'd deliberately flake out to ruin my plans (but that's another story altogether). Generally on casual dates (early on in the relationship, 1st/2nd dates) I would pay the sitter when the kids were young, but no other expenses and my date would fund the activity (dinner, movie, etc.). If it was a steady relationship, I would mention my dilema and my date picked up the costs related to the kids' care when necessary. To reciprocate I would make a meal for us to share at another time/for another date. I made it a point never to have "overnight" company if my kids were home and did not let them meet anyone that I dated unless it was to become a
    long-term kind of thing. My kids did become attached to someone I dated for 3 years and were hurt when I ended it -- so be careful. The manI married was someonewe knew for 10+ years. We met through volunteering as scout leaders -- my Dad jokingly hassaid he didn't know there was a merit badge in romance My kids were very comfortable with him as he had been in group activities with us "forever" proving you never know where Mr. Right will turn up. Sometimes I would meet a "friend" by casually bumping into him while at a fast food restaurant (prearranged, butmy kids never suspected anything). The kids would playon the playground while I visited over coffee with my date. Best of luck to you and your daughter, Suzanne. I feel certain brighter days are around the corner for y'all.

    Suzanne
    Fesmire Gibbons <pseuzanne@yahoo.com>
    wrote: My daughter is just two years old, so she needs a
    babysitter. I don't know other single moms in my area.

    Join this group to find out about local deals and bargains:
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/frugalinmassachusetts/

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