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Thread: Frustrated!

  1. #1
    Jennifer Huff
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!

    I haven't posted in awhile, but have been reading the posts and

    getting good ideas for saving money. My frustration seems so petty,

    but it is driving me crazy. I am 36, have a DH and DD6 and DD9. When

    my husband got out of the regular Army after the Gulf war, he spent 6

    years trying college, working at McDonalds and then a restaurant with

    me completely supporting us. He finally settled on carpentry and

    worked for a couple of different people over several years. In 2002

    he decided to start his own carpentry business and we have been

    struggling, borrowing, etc as he is trying to make it on his own. I

    work 20 hrs per week in a very physical job and work for medical

    benefits for the family. There are weeks when I have worked 40hrs

    (covering for co-workers) and I am exhausted by the end of the week.

    In addition, the house looks like bomb went off in it. My husband

    doesn't do much around the house(mostly dishes, mowing lawn or

    shoveling) and occasional other stuff if I beg him. I can live with

    this if I am only working 20hrs, but not if I have to work 40 hrs. I

    keep trying to get him to work for someone else as he is not earning

    enough to make ends meet, but then I get the guilt trip, "Ok, so you

    are going to make me give up my dream. I know I am a failure." He is

    a great carpenter, but a lousy businessman. We never seem to make

    enough money. I guess I feel like I supported us for 6 yrs, hell,

    only one year in 15 did he make more money than me (me part-time, him

    full-time) and I don't feel like I should have to do the same thing

    now, especially since I take care of the children most of the time

    and do 90% of the housework! Am I being petty or should I give him a

    swift kick in the butt to get a job with someone else? I have tried


    use my extra time at home to help his business, but I'm not the most

    business inclined person either. I don't know how to organize the

    bills/paperwork for his small business and we can't afford to hire

    someone. I have a hard enough time organizing the family bills/

    papers. Any suggestions?

    Jennifer








  2. #2
    Rhonda Bates
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!

    My dh was also in the Gulf War. He has also tried school, every job on earth and now is working for COMMISSION as a salesman. I am also supporting the family and it is taking everything I have to keep my mouth shut. It will ruin my marriage if I nag him, but I am wondering what I can also do. If things don't shape up, I will have to go and get a second job. With two teenagers in the house, I am not looking forward to that. Unfortunately, I don't have any answers, but you have my empathy and I look forward to reading the responses that you receive to see if they help me.


    Rhonda in TX


    On 09 Apr 2007 18:49:58 -0700, Jennifer Huff[/b] <gjhuff44@earthlink.net> wrote:







    I haven&#39;t posted in awhile, but have been reading the posts and
    getting good ideas for saving money. My frustration seems so petty,
    but it is driving me crazy. I am 36, have a DH and DD6 and DD9. When

    my husband got out of the regular Army after the Gulf war, he spent 6
    years trying college, working at McDonalds and then a restaurant with
    me completely supporting us. He finally settled on carpentry and
    worked for a couple of different people over several years. In 2002
    he decided to start his own carpentry business and we have been
    struggling, borrowing, etc as he is trying to make it on his own. I
    work 20 hrs per week in a very physical job and work for medical
    benefits for the family. There are weeks when I have worked 40hrs
    (covering for co-workers) and I am exhausted by the end of the week.
    In addition, the house looks like bomb went off in it. My husband
    doesn&#39;t do much around the house(mostly dishes, mowing lawn or
    shoveling) and occasional other stuff if I beg him. I can live with
    this if I am only working 20hrs, but not if I have to work 40 hrs. I
    keep trying to get him to work for someone else as he is not earning
    enough to make ends meet, but then I get the guilt trip, "Ok, so you
    are going to make me give up my dream. I know I am a failure." He is
    a great carpenter, but a lousy businessman. We never seem to make
    enough money. I guess I feel like I supported us for 6 yrs, hell,

    only one year in 15 did he make more money than me (me part-time, him
    full-time) and I don&#39;t feel like I should have to do the same thing
    now, especially since I take care of the children most of the time

    and do 90% of the housework! Am I being petty or should I give him a
    swift kick in the butt to get a job with someone else? I have tried
    use my extra time at home to help his business, but I&#39;m not the most

    business inclined person either. I don&#39;t know how to organize the
    bills/paperwork for his small business and we can&#39;t afford to hire
    someone. I have a hard enough time organizing the family bills/
    papers. Any suggestions?

    Jennifer






  3. #3
    Idodc@aol.com
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!



    Have them go to your county mental health department and be tested for depression and ptsd.... they charge based on income and their are military benefits for ptsd.... or talk to your local VA hospital and see who you need to talk to to have them tested.....

    alana


    See what's free at AOL.com.



  4. #4
    Karen
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!

    Jennifer



    I feel for you. I can only speculate what I would do if I were in your

    situation.



    Please keep in mind as you read this, that this just my opinion and I don't

    want to cause any arguments here.



    If making enough money is the biggest problem - I would tackle that first.

    Make a simple list of money coming in and money going out. Ask him for any

    ideas he has for getting these to match. Tell him you already work X amount

    of hours as well as care for the kids and house, so you working more is not

    an option. See what he comes up with. Maybe he can work in his business,

    but take on a part time job somewhere else. The SBA should be able to offer

    him advice as I'm sure the internet is a great source of information also.

    I downloaded a free program called Microsoft Office Accounting Express 2007.

    It is wonderful. I use it for our family budget as well as for the crafts I

    do on the side as an extra source of income. That might help with the

    business aspect of it.



    We recently went to an envelope system for paying our bills. When the money

    is gone, it's gone. I might try this, and when you start getting calls I

    would make him talk to them. Maybe he'll get the idea without you actually

    nagging him. We've learned to take care of the four walls first - food,

    house, utilities, transportation. Then everything else. Doing them in the

    order listed will make for much less stress in your home.



    As far as the house being cleaned goes. I wouldn't kill myself to do it.

    If you continue to do everything he'll most likely let you. If he sees you

    can't do it all - maybe he'll step up to the plate and help you out.



    If all else fails I would seek counseling, even if he refused to go with me

    I would still go by myself.



    Sorry I got so long winded. Again, keep in mind that this is only my

    opinion and I've not walked in your shoes. I have a very supportive husband

    who works 2 jobs so that I can stay home and take care of our 3 boys, the

    house, and our finances. He also helps out in the house anytime he sees

    things that need done. He'll even offer to wash the dishes or whatever even

    after working.



    Hugs!

    Karen





    ----- Original Message -----

    From: "Jennifer Huff" <gjhuff44@earthlink.net>

    To: "Budget 101" <Budget101_@yahoogroups.com>

    Sent: Monday, April 09, 2007 2:16 PM

    Subject: Budget101.com : Frustrated!





    >I haven't posted in awhile, but have been reading the posts and

    > getting good ideas for saving money. My frustration seems so petty,

    > but it is driving me crazy. I am 36, have a DH and DD6 and DD9. When

    > my husband got out of the regular Army after the Gulf war, he spent 6

    > years trying college, working at McDonalds and then a restaurant with

    > me completely supporting us. He finally settled on carpentry and

    > worked for a couple of different people over several years. In 2002

    > he decided to start his own carpentry business and we have been

    > struggling, borrowing, etc as he is trying to make it on his own. I

    > work 20 hrs per week in a very physical job and work for medical

    > benefits for the family. There are weeks when I have worked 40hrs

    > (covering for co-workers) and I am exhausted by the end of the week.

    > In addition, the house looks like bomb went off in it. My husband

    > doesn't do much around the house(mostly dishes, mowing lawn or

    > shoveling) and occasional other stuff if I beg him. I can live with

    > this if I am only working 20hrs, but not if I have to work 40 hrs. I


    > keep trying to get him to work for someone else as he is not earning

    > enough to make ends meet, but then I get the guilt trip, "Ok, so you

    > are going to make me give up my dream. I know I am a failure." He is

    > a great carpenter, but a lousy businessman. We never seem to make

    > enough money. I guess I feel like I supported us for 6 yrs, hell,

    > only one year in 15 did he make more money than me (me part-time, him

    > full-time) and I don't feel like I should have to do the same thing

    > now, especially since I take care of the children most of the time

    > and do 90% of the housework! Am I being petty or should I give him a

    > swift kick in the butt to get a job with someone else? I have tried

    > use my extra time at home to help his business, but I'm not the most

    > business inclined person either. I don't know how to organize the

    > bills/paperwork for his small business and we can't afford to hire

    > someone. I have a hard enough time organizing the family bills/

    > papers. Any suggestions?

    > Jennifer

    >





    --

    No virus found in this outgoing message.

    Checked by AVG Free Edition.

    Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 269.0.0/752 - Release Date: 4/8/2007 8:34 PM








  5. #5
    Jennifer Huff
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!

    You know, I should probably keep my mouth shut, too. I know he knows how frustrated I amand I know he is frustrated too because as he says, the 2 things he knows how to do are buildthings and kill people(Army) and seeing as neither one of us wants him to go to war again, Iguess we pick the best option. I feel for you too. Any time you need to vent, email me, I thinkwe are feeling similar things! I will let you know if I get any good suggestions as I also posted toanother loop.Jennifer<BR class="khtml-block-placeholder">On Apr 9, 2007, at 10:40 PM, Rhonda Bates wrote:<BR class="Apple-interchange-newline"><BLOCKQUOTE type="cite"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family: Helvetica;font-size: 12px;font-style: normal;font-variant: normal;font-weight: normal;letter-spacing: normal;text-align: auto;text-indent: 0px;"><DIV id="ygrp-mlmsg" style="font-size: 13px;"><DIV id="ygrp-msg" style="font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">My dh was also in the Gulf War. He has also tried school, every job on earth and now is working for COMMISSION as a salesman. I am also supporting the family and it is taking everything I have to keep my mouth shut. It will ruin my marriage if I nag him, but I am wondering what I can also do. If things don't shape up, I will have to go and get a second job. With two teenagers in the house, I am not looking forward to that. Unfortunately, I don't have any answers, but you have my empathy and I look forward to reading the responses that you receive to see if they help me.<DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">Rhonda in TX<BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="gmail_quote"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">On 09 Apr 2007 18:49:58 -0700, <B class="gmail_sendername"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;font-weight: bold;">Jennifer Huff[/B]<SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"> <<SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">gjhuff44@earthlink.<WBR style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">net</WBR><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">> wrote:<SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><BLOCKQUOTE class="gmail_quote" style="BORDER-LEFT: #ccc 1px solid;font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff;font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><P style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">I haven't posted in awhile, but have been reading the posts and <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">getting good ideas for saving money. My frustration seems so petty, <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">but it is driving me crazy. I am 36, have a DH and DD6 and DD9. When <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">my husband got out of the regular Army after the Gulf war, he spent 6 <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">years trying college, working at McDonalds and then a restaurant with <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">me completely supporting us. He finally settled on carpentry and <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">worked for a couple of different people over several years. In 2002 <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">he decided to start his own carpentry business and we have been <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">struggling, borrowing, etc as he is trying to make it on his own. I <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">work 20 hrs per week in a very physical job and work for medical <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">benefits for the family. There are weeks when I have worked 40hrs <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">(covering for co-workers) and I am exhausted by the end of the week. <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">In addition, the house looks like bomb went off in it. My husband <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">doesn't do much around the house(mostly dishes, mowing lawn or <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">shoveling) and occasional other stuff if I beg him. I can live with <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">this if I am only working 20hrs, but not if I have to work 40 hrs. I <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">keep trying to get him to work for someone else as he is not earning <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">enough to make ends meet, but then I get the guilt trip, "Ok, so you <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">are going to make me give up my dream. I know I am a failure." He is <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">a great carpenter, but a lousy businessman. We never seem to make <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">enough money. I guess I feel like I supported us for 6 yrs, hell, <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">only one year in 15 did he make more money than me (me part-time, him <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">full-time) and I don't feel like I should have to do the same thing <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">now, especially since I take care of the children most of the time <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">and do 90% of the housework! Am I being petty or should I give him a <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">swift kick in the butt to get a job with someone else? I have tried <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">use my extra time at home to help his business, but I'm not the most <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">business inclined person either. I don't know how to organize the <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">bills/paperwork for his small business and we can't afford to hire <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">someone. I have a hard enough time organizing the family bills/ <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">papers. Any suggestions? <BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;">Jennifer<BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"> white;font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;" width="1"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><BR style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><DIV style="font-family: Georgia;font-size: 13px;"><BR class="khtml-block-placeholder"><SPAN width="1" style="color: white;font-family: arial;font-size: 13px;"><SPAN class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family: arial;font-size: 13px;">



  6. #6
    Jennifer Huff
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!

    Thanks for the suggestions. I do most of our bills online so I don't

    have to pay for

    stamps, etc as the bank does online banking for free. But do you

    think it would work

    to do the envelope system for things like groceries and gas for the

    vehicles. I really don't

    buy anything else(other than the little easter trinkets I just bought

    the kids). I don't have

    enough to buy clothes for the kids so they just wear what they have.

    Or does the envelope

    system work best when everything is in the envelopes? We do have

    Quicken, I just haven't updated

    it recently because I get so anxious when there isn't enough money to

    pay all the bills.

    It sounds stupid, but true.

    Jennifer



    On Apr 10, 2007, at 8:17 AM, Karen wrote:



    > Jennifer

    >

    > I feel for you. I can only speculate what I would do if I were in your

    > situation.

    >

    > Please keep in mind as you read this, that this just my opinion and

    > I don't

    > want to cause any arguments here.

    >

    > If making enough money is the biggest problem - I would tackle that

    > first.

    > Make a simple list of money coming in and money going out. Ask him

    > for any

    > ideas he has for getting these to match. Tell him you already work

    > X amount

    > of hours as well as care for the kids and house, so you working

    > more is not

    > an option. See what he comes up with. Maybe he can work in his

    > business,

    > but take on a part time job somewhere else. The SBA should be able

    > to offer

    > him advice as I'm sure the internet is a great source of

    > information also.

    > I downloaded a free program called Microsoft Office Accounting

    > Express 2007.

    > It is wonderful. I use it for our family budget as well as for the

    > crafts I

    > do on the side as an extra source of income. That might help with the

    > business aspect of it.

    >

    > We recently went to an envelope system for paying our bills. When

    > the money

    > is gone, it's gone. I might try this, and when you start getting

    > calls I

    > would make him talk to them. Maybe he'll get the idea without you

    > actually

    > nagging him. We've learned to take care of the four walls first -

    > food,

    > house, utilities, transportation. Then everything else. Doing them

    > in the

    > order listed will make for much less stress in your home.

    >

    > As far as the house being cleaned goes. I wouldn't kill myself to

    > do it.

    > If you continue to do everything he'll most likely let you. If he

    > sees you

    > can't do it all - maybe he'll step up to the plate and help you out.

    >

    > If all else fails I would seek counseling, even if he refused to go

    > with me

    > I would still go by myself.

    >

    > Sorry I got so long winded. Again, keep in mind that this is only my

    > opinion and I've not walked in your shoes. I have a very supportive

    > husband

    > who works 2 jobs so that I can stay home and take care of our 3

    > boys, the

    > house, and our finances. He also helps out in the house anytime he

    > sees

    > things that need done. He'll even offer to wash the dishes or

    > whatever even

    > after working.

    >

    > Hugs!

    > Karen






  7. #7
    jdorr9@comcast.net
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!

    I wasn't the original poster to this message but I use the envelope system and Quicken. I started following the Dave
    Ramsey program and make a budget every month based on what each paycheck is and then assigning an expense for every dollar, no matter what it is. (expenses, savings, etc)
    We also use the envelope system for the following catagories: Groceries/Household, Gas, Clothing, Haircuts, Entertainment, Spending Money for myself and spouse. Every paycheck I look
    at my budget and see how much goes into the envelopes, take it out of the bank and "fund" the envelopes. My other bills like cable, credit cards, phone, electric, cars, etc are still paid out of my checkbook. I had to change the way I do my Quicken a little bit because I have stopped tracking the money I put in the envelopes once it's in there. Once it's gone it's gone. In Quicken I have catagories called Budget-Groceries, Budget-Gas, etc. for the cash I take out to fund the envelopes. I have found it much easier to do all of these above steps because I know that everything hasa place and if I don't have it reserved somewhere from a paycheck then we can't get it.

    Hope my above ramblings make sense, feel free to e-mail me if I can explain more.

    Jenn in NH


    <BLOCKQUOTE style="BORDER-LEFT: #1010ff 2px solid;">-------------- Original message --------------
    From: Jennifer Huff <gjhuff44@earthlink.net>




    Thanks for the suggestions. I do most of our bills online so I don't
    have to pay for
    stamps, etc as the bank does online banking for free. But do you
    think it would work
    to do the envelope system for things like groceries and gas for the
    vehicles. I really don't
    buy anything else(other than the little easter trinkets I just bought
    the kids). I don't have
    enough to buy clothes for the kids so they just wear what they have.
    Or does the envelope
    system work best when everything is in the envelopes? We do have
    Quicken, I just haven't updated
    it recently because I get so anxious when there isn't enough money to
    pay all the bills.
    It sounds stupid, but true.
    Jennifer

    On Apr 10, 2007, at 8:17 AM, Karen wrote:

    > Jennifer
    >
    > I feel for you. I can only speculate what I would do if I were in your
    > situation.
    >
    > Please keep in mind as you read this, that this just my opinion and
    > I don't
    > want to cause any arguments here.
    >
    > If making enough money is the biggest problem - I would tackle that
    > first.
    > Make a simple list of money coming in and money going out. Ask him
    > for any
    > ideas he has for getting these to match. Tell him you already work
    > X amount
    > of hours as well as care for the kids and house, so you working
    > more is not
    > an option. See what he comes up with. Maybe he can work in his
    > business,
    > but take on a part time job somewhere else. The SBA should be able
    > to offer
    > him advice as I'm sure the internet is a great source of
    > information also.
    > I downloaded a free program called Microsoft Office Accounting
    > Express 2007.
    > It is wonderful. I use it for our family budget as well as for the
    > crafts I
    > do on the side as an extra source of income. That might help with the
    > business aspect of it.

    >
    > We recently went to an envelope system for paying our bills. When
    > the money
    > is gone, it's gone. I might try this, and when you start getting
    > calls I
    > would make him talk to them. Maybe he'll get the idea without you
    > actually
    > nagging him. We've learned to take care of the four walls first -
    > food,
    > house, utilities, transportation. Then everything else. Doing them
    > in the
    > order listed will make for much less stress in your home.
    >
    > As far as the house being cleaned goes. I wouldn't kill myself to
    > do it.
    > If you continue to do everything he'll most likely let you. If he
    > sees you
    > can't do it all - maybe he'll step up to the plate and help you out.
    >
    > If all else fails I would seek counseling, even if he refused to go
    > with me
    > I would still go by myself.
    >
    > Sorry I got so long winded. Again, keep in min
    d that this is only my
    > opinion and I've not walked in your shoes. I have a very supportive
    > husband
    > who works 2 jobs so that I can stay home and take care of our 3
    > boys, the
    > house, and our finances. He also helps out in the house anytime he
    > sees
    > things that need done. He'll even offer to wash the dishes or
    > whatever even
    > after working.
    >
    > Hugs!
    > Karen




  8. #8
    Liss
    Guest

    Default Frustrated!


    Jennifer,
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">I can completely understand your frustration, but before I can help, could you please offer a little additional info:
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007"> 1. What areas of business is your hubby not so good at?
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007"> a. finding the work?
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007"> b. accounting/book-keeping?
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007"> c. He finds the work, but then doesn't work enough hours?
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007"> d. the contract aspect of the work?
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">The reason I ask is that MY dh does the same line of work and I am VERY familiar with this business, dealing with vendors, lumber companies, customers, insurances, etc.
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">Another thing you mentioned.... you've had to take out loans for this. May I ask Why?? Did he need tools??
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">I'll offer as much help as I can, I actually started budget101.com when dh quit his job as a mechanic and went to work for himself in Construction/Carpentry. I know exactly what you are going through and If I can help you through it and get to a better place...
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">Hugs,
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">Liss
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">Listmom & Creator of Budget101.com
    <SPAN class="843004513-10042007">



 

 
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