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  1. #1
    rani gee
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century

    Playing hopscotch hide and seek even a game of rounders was all in a day’s fun for a thirteen year old in the good old days. <A id="more-12832" tip></A>Of course all good things come to an end when called in against your will and ordered up the stairs to wash behind your ears before bed, while the children of the 21st century slap on war paint to disguise their identities for approval into many disco night clubs. . Succeeding in their mission to gain those added years they would then dance and party till dawn, while I remember back to my navy blue knickers and white vest hanging up to dry in front of an open coal fire for school the next morning. The nature and attitude of the Children of the 21st century is so different from the days long gone. Children today have a lifestyle not a childhood, whose fault is that I ask. Where do the answers lie? Remembering back to the words of Mother in the good old days, “There is
    your dinner”! Now it is “what you would like for dinner”? Another household saying of Mum’s was “I can not afford that”. Twenty first century mums can by doing an extra shift at work. And in the in the good old days the threats cast upon us from Mother, threats like, are you looking for a good hiding, No I was not looking for a good hiding, but you never dared to answer back unless of course you were looking for another clout. Nowadays it is the other way round, where a great many Mothers live under threat from their own flesh and blood. “Where do the answers lie” I ask myself once again. Drinking was strictly for the adults in the good old days not for teens on the street corner who are not long out of nappies. Drugs in the good old days were prescribed by a Doctor not a dealer, the only dealer we knew of in those days were the ones who dealt the cards in a game of snap. Will the Children of the 21st Century ever learn? Yes
    given the right teacher, that being Mummy and Daddy, then as your star pupil begins to grow up he learns to respect his/her elders, that now being Mum or Dad. Giving into your children’s needs and wants is not helping them for the big bad world out there, teach them to stand on their own two feet and if that means going back to the good old days then so be it. Which isn’t so bad just to hear the laughter of children growing up in their own time.

    &#32;_____________________________________________ _____





  2. #2
    Shawnee
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century

    I know I for one do not give in to the "I wants" of my children. I know

    that if I do that now, my soon to be teens will be throwing fits for

    $100 shoes and jeans. They always get what they need, and once in a

    while get something they want, usually not the extremely expensive

    wants, unless it is birthday time or Christmas.

    Shawnee



    --- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, rani gee <rani_only_4you@...> wrote:

    >

    > Playing hopscotch hide and seek even a game of rounders was all in a

    day's fun for a thirteen year old in the good old days.

    > Of course all good things come to an end








  3. #3
    tracyforsyth2001
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century

    I was in the line up at a department store today and I saw a kid behind

    me with some toys that her mom was going to buy for her(Maybe she has a

    January birthday ).......I can remember when I was young there was no

    Toys R Us and toys weren't really available in large spread like they

    are now and we looked forwrd to getting the Sears catalogue"Wish Book"

    and the stores would have Toytown a section for toys that started in

    late October that that isles and isles (4 maybe of the latest toys) Wow

    those were the days.I only got toys Christmas and Birthdays,Times sure

    have changed now kids can't have lunch without getting a toy.

    Tracy



    --- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, "Shawnee" <sketch7511@...> wrote:

    >

    > I know I for one do not give in to the "I wants" of my children. I

    know

    > that if I do that now, my soon to be teens will be throwing fits for

    > $100 shoes and jeans. They always get what they need, and once in a

    > while get something they want, usually not the extremely expensive

    > wants, unless it is birthday time or Christmas.

    > Shawnee

    >

    > --- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, rani gee <rani_only_4you@> wrote:

    > >

    > > Playing hopscotch hide and seek even a game of rounders was all in

    a

    > day's fun for a thirteen year old in the good old days.

    > > Of course all good things come to an end

    >










  4. #4
    herberkids3
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century

    We're the same way. Our oldest daughter is going to be 11 soon, and

    already she has friends with cell phones, the latest MP3 players, etc.

    She's going to a birthday party for a little girl tomorrow in her

    class. For the birthday, they're driving down to Grand Rapids (south

    end, almost 2 hours away) to do a boutique party thing for this Club

    Libby Lu.



    I looked it up, cause I'd never heard of them. They do girly makeovers,

    stuff like "rock star", "sparkle", etc. The cost wasn't listed

    outright, but it did show how much it could be per person, depending on

    the type, and the costs were up over $20 per kid for the cheap ones. I

    would love to have the kind of money where I'd be able to do that, but

    I still don't think I could bring myself to actually do that for a

    birthday party.



    Anyway, it helps when the kids are younger if they don't get lots of

    things, or get expensive things. If they get a $50 pair of shoes at 10,

    what will they expect at 13? Or what about 16, when they'll want a car?

    I think we'll be very realistic with our daughter when she gets closer

    to 16. We've been a 1 car family almost exclusivly for 10 years. We had

    a stint of 6 months when we had 2 cars, but 2 weeks after we got the

    2nd car, a 16 year old (he'd had his liscence 2 weeks) made a left turn

    on a blinking red in front of me, assuming that even though my blinker

    was off, I'd be turning. The car was drivable during the day, but the

    lights on one side were smashed out, and it was a gas hog (a huge

    cadillac), so it sat more than it was driven.



    I just don't see the need to buy all sorts of stuff for kids or teens,

    when they don't need it.



    --- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, "Shawnee" <sketch7511@...> wrote:

    >

    > I know I for one do not give in to the "I wants" of my children. I

    know

    > that if I do that now, my soon to be teens will be throwing fits for

    > $100 shoes and jeans. They always get what they need, and once in a

    > while get something they want, usually not the extremely expensive

    > wants, unless it is birthday time or Christmas.

    > Shawnee

    >

    > --- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, rani gee <rani_only_4you@> wrote:

    > >

    > > Playing hopscotch hide and seek even a game of rounders was all in

    a

    > day's fun for a thirteen year old in the good old days.

    > > Of course all good things come to an end

    >










  5. #5
    DVICTOR1
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century


    I was tired of everyone looking through the fridge and
    cabinets telling me what they wanted me to fix them for a meal. I finally
    put my foot down. I told them from here on out, the only time they will
    be ordering their meal is when we go to a restaurant! I told them I will
    put their meal on a plate in front of them and that will be their meal.
    My oldest daughter hates spaghetti so I do have an exception for a peanut
    butter sandwich if they don’t like what is being fixed.
    It was amazing how fast they all adapted to it. The
    whining stopped, the nagging for something I would not give them…gone!
    I wish I had thought of doing this sooner.

    For their “I wants” I tell them to save their
    money for it. I buy their needs and they get wants for special treats,
    rewards for straight A;s; and for Birthdays and Christmas. Their
    grandparents bought them so much stuff; we are out of room for it all. My
    five year old got a tent that fits two or three people! It takes up
    her entire bedroom! Mom bought my 2 year old a huge bus shaped tent and a
    large rocking horse. They take up most of her room and she doesn’t even
    play with the horse. I tried to get mom to take it back, but she said just
    put it up if she doesn’t want it. I am an only child and I am not
    having any more children, I don’t understand why she is saving it.
    My oldest daughter is only 10. The horse cost at least $70! I try
    so hard to teach my children to appreciate things, but their grandparents’
    breeze in and give into it. My oldest even told me if I told her no, she
    would just go to my mom. I have even had to stop allowing my oldest to
    spend the night with my mom because she would totally blow me off and tell me “I
    am the grandparent; I can do whatever I want. It is my house, my rules”

    Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother to death, she is
    one of my best friends. It is just so frustrating sometimes. It
    makes me want to write a piece titled “Grandparents of the 21<sup>st</sup>
    Century”.

    Melissa in OK




  6. #6
    Sue Sorensen
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century

    Melissa, my husband and I took a Positive Discipline class (and read

    the book by the same name) when our kids were young, and they told us

    to do EXACTLY what you did. And, yes, it works.



    We give our kids choices, but the choices are limited to what we're

    willing to offer them. For example, we never said, "Do you want to go

    to bed now?" Instead the choice was, "Do you want to wear the red

    pajamas or the blue pajamas?"



    At mealtime, I always gave the kids "The Cereal Option." If they

    didn't want to eat what I put in front of them, they were free to go

    to the kitchen and get themselves a bowl of cereal. No discussion, no

    questions asked, no need for them to complain about my cooking or for

    me to question their choice.



    Sometimes we would worry about fairness to the kids when one of them

    needed something really big, such as a computer. But my sister, who

    is a special ed teacher, explained to me that "Fair means everyone

    gets their needs met, not that everyone gets the same thing." We've

    always told our kids that, and so there hasn't been jealousy over the

    occasional big purchase because they understand it all evens out over

    time.



    I think if we'd given the kids everything they wanted, like some

    families do, we wouldn't have their college savings set aside--which

    we do! We used one of those state programs for buying credits at

    today's prices, regardless of what the credits might actually cost in

    the future when the kids use them. Our oldest is a junior in college

    and we have barely had to scratch the surface of that tuition savings

    plan yet. And this on my part-time income and my husband's civil

    service income!



    I really believe that good parenting and frugality go hand in hand. We

    have an obligation to teach our kids to manage their money. This gets

    harder and harder to do...there was a great article in Saturday's Wall

    Street Journal about how allowances are being replaced now by the

    parents using credit cards to pay for kids' ITunes downloads, video

    game online accounts, eBay purchases, etc. So it gets harder to teach

    kids how to handle their money because so much of it is just

    electronic transfers now.



    This is so true with our youngest, who is 14...she rarely handles any

    real money...but we're helping her write it all down, anyway, so she

    gets used to making a budget on paper even if she doesn't handle the

    actual cash.



    Well, enough musings from this "old" mom. In some ways, I'm glad I

    didn't get into the child rearing business until I was in the my

    mid-30s, because it gave me time to establish my own values first.

    Also to make a bunch of my own financial mistakes before I passed them

    on to the next generation LOL!



    Sue







    --- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, "DVICTOR1" <dvictor1@...> wrote:

    >

    > I was tired of everyone looking through the fridge and cabinets

    telling me

    > what they wanted me to fix them for a meal. I finally put my foot

    down. I

    > told them from here on out, the only time they will be ordering

    their meal

    > is when we go to a restaurant! I told them I will put their meal on

    a plate

    > in front of them and that will be their meal. My oldest daughter hates

    > spaghetti so I do have an exception for a peanut butter sandwich if they

    > don't like what is being fixed.

    >

    > It was amazing how fast they all adapted to it. The whining

    stopped, the

    > nagging for something I would not give them.gone! I wish I had

    thought of

    > doing this sooner.

    >



    > Melissa in OK

    >










  7. #7
    Peggy
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century

    If your mother is really your best friend, she would support you and not undermine your authority with your children. I wish you luck, because since it has been going on this long, it is going to take some severe measures for you to get control. I have one grandchild and I love him more than anything, but I realize that he doesn't need all the toys and clothes and gadgets in the world. He will be better off without so much. I defer to my daughter (his mother) and follow her wishes - SHE is his PARENT and has to live with him and is responsible for his upbringing. NOT ME. I raised mine and now it is my time to back off on some things and remember my place. My daughter is a terrific mom. She is very level headed and tries not to over indulge. Still, I think my grandchild has more than he needs. But my daughter will not allow him to have stuff because the other kids have it.
    She feels that simple is better and less is more in many ways. I had the best mother in the world. She was a wonderful example to me. She adored her grandchildren and was always there, but never interfered. I miss her so much! She died before my grandchild was born, and I know how much she would have loved him. I just hope I can be half the grandma she was! Good luck and God bless. I can understand how your mother feels. I know I would like to give my grandchild the world and everything in it, but I don't have the means, and if I did, it would not serve him well at all.

    &#32;_____________________________________________ _____





  8. #8
    Peggy
    Guest

    Default Children of the 21st century

    If your mother is really your best friend, she would support you and not undermine your authority with your children. I wish you luck, because since it has been going on this long, it is going to take some severe measures for you to get control. I have one grandchild and I love him more than anything, but I realize that he doesn't need all the toys and clothes and gadgets in the world. He will be better off without so much. I defer to my daughter (his mother) and follow her wishes - SHE is his PARENT and has to live with him and is responsible for his upbringing. NOT ME. I raised mine and now it is my time to back off on some things and remember my place. My daughter is a terrific mom. She is very level headed and tries not to over indulge. Still, I think my grandchild has more than he needs. But my daughter will not allow him to have stuff because the other kids have it.
    She feels that simple is better and less is more in many ways. I had the best mother in the world. She was a wonderful example to me. She adored her grandchildren and was always there, but never interfered. I miss her so much! She died before my grandchild was born, and I know how much she would have loved him. I just hope I can be half the grandma she was! Good luck and God bless. I can understand how your mother feels. I know I would like to give my grandchild the world and everything in it, but I don't have the means, and if I did, it would not serve him well at all.

    &#32;_____________________________________________ _____





 

 
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