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Over The Hill Survival Kit

 

Memory Mints: for Senior Moments

Duct Tape: Instant face lift

Age Spots Remover: For those nasty brown spots

A String: to keep your glasses nearby

Magnifying glass: to read the really small print...

Paddle ball: for strenuous exercise

Tweezers: to remove chin hairs, nose hairs, or ear hairs, like stray eyebrows.

Emergency whistle: for when youíve fallen and canít get up

Oil of Old Age Lotion: for dry, old cracked skin

Fan: for hot flashes

Funnel: because you wonder why everyone has started to mumble

Old Age Pills: take as directed.

Cup for teeth: because you & your teeth don't sleep together

Playing cards:. In large print

Over the Hill Pills: take as needed for those 'senior moments'

Maxi pad: because everything either dries up or leaks

Over The Soap: with exclusive, industrial strength anti-aging ingredients

Hair Color: To cover the Grey

Decision Dice: to plan your day

Hot Flash Cream: for those menopause moments

Nose Clip: to stop snoring

All Bran Cereal: because all your wild oats have turned to bran

40 Pennies: a start on your retirement fund

Pepcid tablets: for constant heartburn

Ben Gay: because at the breakfast you hear snap!, crackle! & pop!, & you're not eating cereal.

Treasure Box : because you have entered the metallic age - silver hair, gold teeth & lead bottom.

Photo Album: to help your memory

A Placard : Be proud to be a "Priceless Antique"



 

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