living drama once again
by, 05-05-2009 at 11:54 PM (533 Views)
I cannot, I cannot handle this anymore. Everything I do is either wrong or not good enough, I'm just really getting fed up with my roommate at the moment always looking over my shoulder, criticizing me after a full day of work every day. It bugged me before that she calls about 90% of everything a piece of crap and now its like everything I have/ do is not good enough.
I do things certain ways or I get weird. I NEED to be EARLY or I feel anxious. Her dad came home 20 minutes late (when I say late, I mean he said latest he'd be home was 20 minutes sooner) after he knew I had to go to the bank which practically was going to close as I walked in the door. That and I needed to be somewhere an hour before that but I got the okay to be late. I barely even made it to their house in time since they were about to leave as I arrived. Huge reason why I need a new vehicle.... but I don't have the money for it since I gave the money I was going to use for it to doctor bills(200), Clothes shopping (about 100 there since pants falling off even with a belt isn't fun*), and the kicker- My friend I saw needed 300 for hormone therapy... so there goes any hope of me driving.... and getting out anytime soon.
I NEED my own place for my own mental health- I can't take her dad's yelling for no reason (why I moved out of my mom's), her criticism of everything ( she got mad since the freebie mags I got were more about feeling good about yourself than fashion so she could make fun of the clothes)... She wants to move in with me when I move out and its a definite "NO" for that. I have enough nervousness and self hate, I don't need anymore adding to the fire.
I'm honestly starting to think that maybe if I get another job I'll be able to leave by August. Maybe at an IHOP or something I can work nights. I'm already working 40 hours one day off a week but I neeed some way to get out of this house, I love the cooking and the free rent but its NOT worth it....