Just need to vent!
by, 11-29-2008 at 04:43 PM (435 Views)
Ok all who are reading, my life has been kinda hard latly. My hubby is a recovering alcoholic who has had two major slips just in this month. One Tuesday night I was up til 2 in the morning, showering him, steam cleaning carpets, doing laundry, and cleaning up the other areas of vomit that he created. He states that he is sorry, but there comes a point when actions speak louder than words. No words can describe the disappointment I feel. But because he apologizes I should forgive and move on.....haha harder than it sounds girls!
There is too much that happend for me to go into detail, but the long story short is I am tired. I am 29 with two kids, I left my carrer to be a mom, now that is my job, and I have a hubby who can't control his addiction at times.
If you are wanting to know, yes I love my husband when he doesn't drink. Having to bath your 33 year old husband, and clean up after him is distburbing~Not to mention gross. It makes me angry that he hides things from me, and lies to me about this illness. Not much that I can do but discuss it with my counceler, at least I am doing one postive thing at this time. I am at the point where something has to give with this. It ruined my whole Thanksgiving, I was supposed to go shopping for black friday and was so sleep deprived that all I did yesterday was nap, I am beginning to feel like I am not myself anymore. I just kept telling myself that the good Lord is walking with me in all of this, that he has his hands on my shoulder's, he is giving me stregth for my children, and to wake up everyday! I keep thinking of that christian song " For sorrow may last for one night, but joy comes in the morning"
Thanks for listening, I needed to get the frustration out. Take care.