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Armymomof2

Restless nights

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Well hubby is gone for a year. I'm cool with it, I know it will sink in, but my 5 year old ds is having issues with it. I don't know how to help since this is our first deployment and it's really hard on him.

I wish the Army had better ways to help parents with explaining about stuff like this and how to better equip our children with coping machinists that they will need. I mean he's 5 years old and by the time daddy comes home he will be 6 and most likely have separation anxiety due to the ARMY.

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  1. FreebieQueen's Avatar
    I totally agree, I think it's disgusting how our government leaves Military spouses and their kids out to dry during deployments. They provide very little support for the families- no help explaining to the kids- who are deeply affected.
  2. bleedingace's Avatar
    Dear Armymomof2,

    I totally understand!!!! My DH got back from his 2nd deployment which lasted a year in Feb. Unfortunately what works for one child will not necessarily work for another, that is why they can't really ever prepare the families for a deployment. (Even though they pretend to and to everyone on the out side looking in they think the Army takes care of it all!!!! Not!!!) Is there a FRAG near you that you can get plugged into. You also may want to attend one of the yellow Ribbons also. the ones we went to where not very good for the kids but did help me a little. Maybe the one you have near you will be better. Oh one thing that worked well with our kids that you might want to try is skyping Him. It is well worth the money, which it don't really cost that much. My husband would video call the kids on skype and play long distance charades with them. It was quite funny to watch, and the kids was able to play a game with dad even thou he was 1/2 way around the world. If you ever need to talk or blow off steam I'm here, just pm me. My prayers will be with your DH and family this year. May God bless him and your family and bring him home safe.

    PS. hey if you want you can pm me your address and I'll get my kids to send your ds a Christmas card.
  3. bleedingace's Avatar
    Oh I almost forgot you can go to soldiers angels and request your husband to be put on their list. so he will have some encouragement. they will send him care packages and cards of thanks. My husband said it helped him a lot to know that perfect strangers where thankful for what he was doing. sometimes coming from someone else seems to mean more in this instance. you can also request them to send B-day cards and any other holiday cards to your kids to help them know that others are thankful for the time their dad is away. it really help my kids. Also your DH can go on the site and request people to send you stuff for different things as well. hope i didn't ruin the surprise your DH may have been planing for you, but more than likely the Army has not told him he can do this. Yes, I know that its not right to inform him to give you a gift like that yourself, but who else will?
  4. pjcamp1106's Avatar
    There is plenty of support if information is gotten. My DH last deployed in 2004 for 16 months....our 3 kids at the time were 10,5,4.......DH and I had gone thru it before as a couple but this was first with kids. We were given lots of materials to read, classes were offered. Lots and lots of support. we were also offered support groups thru out deployment for spouses and for kids....planned lots of activites for the kids to spend with other military kids. We were offered classes before they came home on R&R so we would know what kind of things to look for. offered classes right before they came home.....I know I was givin more info thatn I could handle and I know now it is alot better. we did nothave yellow ribbons back then.....and the fallow up that they do for the families. I had cards and numbers for everyone i would ever want to get ahold of from commarnders to therapist etc.....I guess I so do not agree with Freebiequeen on this one.....it is there it is offered you have to go get it.....Did your DH take you to SRP before deployment? They should have given you lots of stuff and info there and if you did not go then he should have given it to you....everything from budgets to copies of forms to support info as well...... I totally understand it is hard actually hardest thing families can go thru and i use to think they same thing about my kids but you know they turned out fine...now being 18,13,12.....keep talking to you son about everything that is going on....answer questions the bet you can......all will be fine....deep breath and this 12 months will have gone by faster than you think.
  5. pjcamp1106's Avatar
    and we did not have vidoe chat or skype.....we did have email this time around. I still remember when he was in bosnia we had letters only......DH has been in for 24 years.....I would love to chat anytime you want
  6. pjcamp1106's Avatar
    Family Support Services | Military.com

    Family Support During Deployment

    https://www.myarmyonesource.com/fami...s/default.aspx

    here are a few places that are very helpful......just dont forget chaplin is always good way to go.....
  7. brchbell's Avatar
    At least things seem to be winding down. Back in 2001 my husband deployed and for the next 8 years he was home a total of 2 months, once we had him a whole 2 weeks! Our daughter grew up without their Dad and once he returned they steered away from him. It's taken 2 years for them to warm up to him. It was really hard on him most of all. He missed their whole life. Our church and community were a big help to us during this time but the relationship with their Dad even though they all wrote back and forth was a real disaster for our family. For them it was a total stranger moving into our house. How you bridge the gap I'm totally clueless. I thought with all the photos and letters and e-mails everything was good but I had 2 teenage daughters in the end that let me know dear Dad was a stranger to them.