by, 02-25-2010 at 10:31 PM (873 Views)
Going through lots of testing this week and next to check and see if cancer has returned. I'm already exhausted and and so tired I wonder why I've let them push me into this again. I know I'm only doing it to please DH. Signs are showing and he's away and scared out of his wits. I've fought this battle for over 30 years and am ready to give up. He gave us the big scare last year and I think he feels it's up to me to take care of this no matter what so that he doesn't have to go into retirement alone. I guess within reason I will take care of it. I'm a firm believer that if it's your time than it's over. So I guess I'll go find out what I'm facing before deciding what to do. If it's small and isolated I'll fight but if it's spread out then I'll throw in the towel with out a fight. But maybe I'm distressed and fearing nothing at all so will put it all aside and wait until all the test results are in.