Thread: Question: Car window

----- Original Message -----

From: "Karen" <karensbirds@yahoo.com>

> What happened to taking the kid out to the car until they stop crying

> and you have control again???



The parents are too lazy/unconcerned to do this. If you take the kid to he

car or leave, it only takes a few times of doing this for the kid to get the

idea that a tantrum won't work.



The worst thing I've seen in a while was at Walmart. A young woman had 3

little kids with her. The oldest was a boy about 3 years old. He kept

telling the mother he had to go to the potty. She was on her cell phone,

ignoring all the kids. He must have told her 5 times. He finally wet his

pants and of course she went ballistic. Around here we say the "Walmart

Child Rearing Method" when we talk about bad parents.



Nancy

I can assure you- if your son's mouth is horrible at home, it's just

the same or worse when you are not around. At that age, kids consider

it "cool" to cuss, and while most will watch their mouths around their

parents, they are stil more likely to say things around friends and

others that they will NOT say around their parents.



If he's willing to say unnacceptable things around you, then he's

definintly saying them around other people.



I agree with the original sentiment of the conversation, that people

need to learn to watch what they say around others, and just in

general. But parents are NOT always to blame for what the teen's say.

In most cases, it's a product of their social upbringing, rather than

their family upbringing.





As for guns, I don't allow our children to play with them, but I make

sure that the children are aware that not everyone feels the same way.

Snaping at a parent, or feeling they are bad parents because they allow

a child to play with toy guns isn't the best way to deal with it.



The child in the store picked up a toy gun. The parent may not have

even been aware of it. That isn't so much a moral degrade as different

social standards. Children have played with toy guns since the

invention of the real gun. It's only been in recent years that many

parents find it unacceptable.



Swearing is also not anything new to this new generation, nor is it

something that will ever go away. Just as teens today test their

limits, teens from 10 years ago, 20 years ago, even 30 or 40 years ago

tested their limits as well. And when your children are teens, they'll

test their limits, too.



As parents, we do our best to make sure our children are safe,

protected, and raised to our standards. It's ignorance at it's finest,

though, to expect that children and teenagers left to their own devices

are going to do things that we think we've taught them not to do.



Not all teens act out in the same manner, but all teens will test their

parental limits to a degree. It might not be swearing- it could be

smoking, skipping school, eating foods they shouldn't, skipping out on

homework, calling in to work, staying out past curfew, drinking, even

doing drugs.



So, as to whether I think there is a moral degrade, I suppose my answer

would be that there is a general lack of respect towards people, but

that morally, teens are acting out as they always have. It's maybe a

bit more prevalent in how they do it these days, but I was a teen 15

years ago, and it isn't that different from what I remember. They just

are more likely o do it in front of adults than before.



--- In Budget101_@yahoogroups.com, Dee Bleau <dejeffbleau@...> wrote:



>

> My son's mouth is horrible. He is 16. I am on him constintley about

it. and I pray that he is not like that in public with his friends. I

find out about it THeir WILL be hell to pay.

When my kids acted up I would tell I was going to take them to the

restroom and they knew that meant big trouble when they got home....I

did take mine to the car sometimes....but found that the bathroom threat

was more effective with my 2....lol..



LaRae

On 12/11/2007, "Nancy R" <nancyr@ntin.net> wrote:



>----- Original Message -----

>From: "Karen" <karensbirds@yahoo.com>

>> What happened to taking the kid out to the car until they stop crying

>> and you have control again???

>

>The parents are too lazy/unconcerned to do this. If you take the kid to he

>car or leave, it only takes a few times of doing this for the kid to get the

>idea that a tantrum won't work.

>

>The worst thing I've seen in a while was at Walmart. A young woman had 3

>little kids with her. The oldest was a boy about 3 years old. He kept

>telling the mother he had to go to the potty. She was on her cell phone,

>ignoring all the kids. He must have told her 5 times. He finally wet his

>pants and of course she went ballistic. Around here we say the "Walmart

>Child Rearing Method" when we talk about bad parents.

>

>Nancy

>

>

We were in Red Lobster Saturday night. Normally we don't go to restaurants anymore, but it was my husbands b-day. This toddler on at the next table over screamed the entire time we were there. I bit my tongue, but really why on earth don't people just take the screaming kid out. I took my daughter to the car many times when she was little, and my husband had the waitress pack our food up. I don't get it. Kelly

Karen <karensbirds@yahoo.com> wrote: <BLOCKQUOTE class="replbq" style="BORDER-LEFT: #1010ff 2px solid;"> What happened to taking the kid out to the car until
they stop crying
and you have control again??? I was one aisle behind a 2-3 yr old that
was throwing a temper tantrum - after 3 aisles I had a headache. I'd
worked all night and was really tired too - finally was on the same
aisle as the tantrum thrower and as I started to pass them the kid
started in again (he was just catching his breath) I looked at him and
did a short scream and said "See I can scream louder" (I would not
normally have done this!!) and walked away. Never heard another word
out of that kid!! KarenMO

<!--End group email
--></BLOCKQUOTE>



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First off I have not read all the replies. As far as the first

persons questions I believe you did the correct thing. I would have

gotten the manager involved but would have left. At least let the

manager know why we felt we had to leave.



with the Child with the gun. I know people feel differently about if

boys should have guns- I have news for you if you give them one or not

they will make believe one with other items or their hand. It is a

boy thing, and yes a parent has a responsibility to talk to their

children about not pointing it at someone. I also feel that you

should have said something at least to the child. Parents do not come

with handbooks and know what to do and what not to do. Maybe it has

never crossed that parents mind that thier child should not be doing

that.



Someone said something about "bad parents" I think it is more along

the lines of being uneducated about parenting and the fact that we

have a generation that was raised to think mainly about themselves and

only themselves and how dare someone put them down. Who do they think

they are saying that to me? This has got to change. We have to start

caring about each other again or this great country we have the

privilege of living in is not going to be a great country. We can not

be so self-consumed! Maybe that parent needs a gentle reminder of

what their child should or should not do.



And remember chances of ever seeing that person again are probably

small anyhow. Be nice but let someone know because maybe no one else

will let them know. On the other hand it is also nice to let the

parent who's child is behaving know also.



Good luck and hope some of the ideas you got give you the courage to

do what you should even if you might be a little uncomfortable about

it at first.



--

When you reach the end of your rope you will find the hem of His garment.

Several times we have asked the waitress to move us to another table. Now when we go out to eat we won't sit near a family with children. Of course we can't control what will happen when that family leaves, but so far it has helped. An adults-only area is probably illegal. The only people who now seem to have rights are the trouble-makers.

Nancy

[quote]
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial;">----- Original Message -----
<DIV style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4;FONT: 10pt arial;">From: Kelly Weyd
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial;">
We were in Red Lobster Saturday night. Normally we don't go to restaurants anymore, but it was my husbands b-day. This toddler on at the next table over screamed the entire time we were there. I bit my tongue, but really why on earth don't people just take the screaming kid out. I took my daughter to the car many times when she was little, and my husband had the waitress pack our food up. I don't get it.</BLOCKQUOTE>

I agree. I can understand a kid screaming for a short period of

time, but not an extended period.



BTW... subj changed to match content







--------------------------------------------------------------------



From: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Budget101_@yahoogroups.com]

On Behalf Of Kelly Weyd

Sent: Tuesday, December 11, 2007 10:56 PM

To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com

Subject: Re: Budget101.com : OT: Moral Degrade --- My Peers?



We were in Red Lobster Saturday night. This toddler on at the next

table over screamed the entire time we were there. I bit my tongue,

but really why on earth don't people just take the screaming kid out.

I went to my youngest daughters elementary Christmas concert last night. A baby

in a nearby row started screaming as soon as the concert started. I was all set

to be aggravated and distracted from the show, my daughter's last as an

elementary student. I was so pleasantly surprized to see the young mom, actually

get up and leave the auditorium. She only tried for a minute or two to quiet her

child. She watched the show from the hallway while the baby slept on her

shoulder. I guess the loudness of the music was too much for her. I appreciated

this mom's consideration of everyone so much.



Donna





=====================

From: Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@yahoo.com>

Date: 2007/12/11 Tue PM 10:55:48 CST

To: Budget101_@yahoogroups.com

Subject: Re: Budget101.com : OT: Moral Degrade --- My Peers?





We were in Red Lobster Saturday night. Normally we don't go to restaurants

anymore, but it was my husbands b-day. This toddler on at the next table

over screamed the entire time we were there. I bit my tongue, but really why

on earth don't people just take the screaming kid out. I took my daughter to

the car many times when she was little, and my husband had the waitress pack our

food up. I don't get it. Kelly



Karen <karensbirds@yahoo.com> wrote: What happened to taking the kid out to

the car until they stop crying

and you have control again??? I was one aisle behind a 2-3 yr old that

was throwing a temper tantrum - after 3 aisles I had a headache. I'd

worked all night and was really tired too - finally was on the same

aisle as the tantrum thrower and as I started to pass them the kid

started in again (he was just catching his breath) I looked at him and

did a short scream and said "See I can scream louder" (I would not

normally have done this!!) and walked away. Never heard another word

out of that kid!! KarenMO







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